Fatherhood col 1

Windhoek, 15 June: My Father lost his father at the tender age of 12-years old and my late grandmother raised him and his siblings. Being the eldest was a lot of pressure, but he rose to the challenge. After school, he worked part-time to contribute to the household and help get his siblings through school. When I think back to when I was twelve, I can’t even imagine having managed such a feat. That’s just one of the reasons I call him Superman.

Gaborone, 15 June: Life does not bless everyone with a great father. As father’s day approaches and as the memories flood back, I realise that I was blessed with a father who left an indelible mark on me. My father taught me to walk the talk and what it means to live an unwavering life.

Rose Hill, 17 June: According to findings published by the UNESCO Institute of Statistics (UIS) in September 2013, although laudable, only 74% of the African youth

Johannesburg, 30 August: Women’s month officially ends tomorrow, yet as I look back on August, I am left lamenting its frivolity and exclusivity. It is always a peculiar time in South Africa, where the significance of August is increasingly commercialised.

An advertising frenzy bombards us with low prices on lacey underwear or special offers at health spas, all in the name of to celebrating ‘superwomen’ across the country.

Cape Town, 30 August: As a young girl, my mother was already building her inner pillar of strength. The eldest daughter of two hardworking parents in a township with no resources, she had to step up and take care of her five younger siblings. To this day, they still have the deepest respect for her, and make no decisions without first consulting “Ou Sis.À

Harare, 23 August: Women’s representation in the Zimbabwe parliament shot up from 19% to 34% in the recent elections, thanks to the quota in the new Constitution. However, several factors have tempered this achievement.

Swakopmund, 23 August: I have known my beloved wife Magdalena Kambara for 12 years and we have been married for eight of those. She gave birth to our four children, and continues to raise them, teaching high principles, dignity and respect.

Grahamstown, 8 August: Tomorrow we celebrate Women’s Day by commemorating the 20 000 women of 9 August 1956. However, 2013 marks a number of other important anniversaries for South Africa: the first anniversary of the Marikana Massacre, 100 years since the very first anti-pass march lead by women of Bothaville and Bloemfontein in 1913, and 100 years since the colonial government passed the Native Land Act.

The Native Land Act is perhaps one of the most important pieces of colonial legislation in South Africa, which saw the allocation of 13% of South Africa’s land being set aside as ‘reserves’ for ‘non-whites’.

Johannesburg, 28 June: “I was shocked and scared. I didn’t know how I was going to support him and how we were going to survive. But I was also excited about bringing a child into the world. I wanted to be able to do all things for him that were never done for me.À

Matthew Thompson was only 17 and still in school when he learned that his girlfriend was expecting a baby boy. The overwhelming excitement and fear he felt is very common among young men who find out they are going to be fathers. Like their partners, they sometimes do not know who to turn to, and often turn away entirely.

However, many teenage fathers like Matthew do not disappear and leave their partners to deal with the pregnancy on their own. Instead, they choose to take responsibility and help raise their child. We often forget that although young women generally shoulder more burdens and much greater hardships during adolescent pregnancies, young men also need extra guidance and support, especially if they are to become responsible fathers and partners.

Thank you for the person I am today. I know I gave you a tough time as a kid. Nevertheless, on top of your busy life in politics and literature, you took the time to coach me, listen and understand me. You have always shown me how to see ‘the glass’ half-full rather than half-empty.
When I was a kid, I thought that I had to follow in your footsteps, but you encouraged me to live my own life and not to walk in your shadow. When I was about seven years old, you realised that I was attracted to the Catholic faith, and instead of trying to change my mind, you respected my choice telling me life is a journey and I should follow my own path.
I was too young to fully understand what you meant by that, but looking back I realise that you guided and advised me growing up, never imposing your beliefs on me. You also wanted me to make mistakes, to fall and to get up stronger than before, and you were always by my side to help me stand up again and walk with pride.

Dear Daddy,
It’s been over a decade since you left my brother, sister and I, but it seems like yesterday that you collapsed while pinning up protest posters in Harare in support of an independent state of Palestine. On the afternoon of 5 April, 2001 you were hospitalised and diagnosed as exhausted, although the post-mortem would show that the cancer that you had been fighting had spread to every inch of your body.

History is about the powerful and the mighty. For the most part, they destroy and plunder amid brief spells of enlightenment. It is another cast of characters that make history: the little people who, eschewing power, work on the ground floor to make a difference to the lives of people around them. You are one such “big littleÀ person.

Johannesburg, 21 June: “There are no perfect fathers, only ones who care.À I repeat this to myself regularly, as I walk this challenging and demanding path of raising two young daughters.

The rewards are sometimes immediate À“ a hug, kiss and cuddle on the sofa, as I pretend that I am thoroughly enjoying watching Peppa Pig, while on the sports channel Zimbabwe are six runs away from victory or Liverpool are one goal down with six minutes to go!

I’ll choose quality time with my daughters over sports games any day. I can always watch the highlights later once I’ve tucked my blessings into bed.