English: Cyber dialogue summary for 6 December 2011, The role of men and boys

Cyber Dialogue Summary

Date: 5 December 2011

Theme: THE ROLE OF BOYS AND MEN.

Panelists: Shuvai Nyoni (Gender Justice Manager Gender Links); Kubi Rama (Gender Links Chief of Operations); Mihloti (Acting Provincial Executive Officer À“ SALGA Gauteng); Councillor Matshidiso Mfikoe; Motumi Mohane (Department of Community Safety).

Dialogue Statistics

1. ARE MEN ALWAYS PERPETRATORS OF GBV?

• In most cases they are the perpetrators.
• Women are also perpetrators of violence its just that when they perpetrate gender based violence it is not reported.
• Most of the time women inflict emotional abuse.
• It is not only men perpetrating violence, but more violence is perpetrated by men than any other group.
• In most marriages mothers in law encourage GBV.

2. HOW CAN WE CHANGE THE PERCEPTION THAT MEN ARE ALWAYS THE PERPETRATORS?

• There should be a mutual understanding and no finger pointing.
• By realising that not all men are perpetrators À“ some women are abusers and perpetrate GBV.
• By exlporing sentiments and beliefs at the grassroots and examining what makes up these norms and values.
• By starting at the school level and targeting young men and boys; there is a need to raise awareness at schools.
• There are no short cuts to this. We have to interrogate the problem and ask questions about all the various aspects of men perpetrating GBV.
• We need to deal with societal pressures and stigma. Men are shy to report GBV crimes aginst them.

3. WHAT ROLES CAN MEN PLAY IN ACTIVISM AGAINST GENDER VIOLENCE?

• They must stop raping young girls and women.
• They can find out from other men how to overcome GBV habits.
• Men should seek rehabilitation services if they have anger management issues.
• Boys can go through programmes that teach them to respect women as their equals as well as to respect themselves.
• Children should be brought up as equals. Boys and girls should be taught that they are equal from a very young age.
• The younger generation needs to be taught at an early age to respect women so that they grow up with this culture.
• Men should share the household chores with women.

4. ARE THERE ANY GENDER CHAMPIONS IN YOUR COMMUNITY,MEN WHO HAVE DONE SOMETHING FOR GENDER EQUALITY AND JUSTICE?

• Men in our community are more concerned with making money as opposed to helping.
• In Namibia there are no champions but only churches have men groups that discuss the importance of raising funds for church.
• Men from our churches have events that encourage them to bond with their spouses.
• Our country president is proud of his wife’s career which is not the case with most husbands. He is also in support of women occupying high positions À“ Zambia.
• Sonke Gender Justice is reaching millions of men and boys with their partnership with the soap opera Generations on South African television.
• There are many organisations that work with men to partner with women’s organisations to address gender justice for example African Fathers ,PADARE etc À“ Zimbabwe.

5. WHAT INITIATIVE DO YOU KNOW OF THAT IS BEING UNDERTAKEN TO PROTECT BOYS FROM GENDER VIOLENCE?

• Establishment of women and child protection units.
• Sensitisation of boys in communities and schools.
• In Zimbabwe a lot of men’s organisations are working with men and young boys to educate them on GBV issues like African Fathers, PADARE and Fatherhood Peace project.
• Fatherhood is a community based organisation and it holds community discussions and campaigns on topical GBV issues. Padare has also been active with structures in different parts of the country. During the 16 days they have a radio dialogue programme being aired on Power FM (Radio Station_ between 7:30-8:00 am.They will also have a national march on the 10^th of december.
• In Zimbabwe universities like Midlands State University (MSU) have a module on gender studies that is taken by all second year students.
• Young boys should be educated on violence and how to report it.
• Substance abuse should be discouraged as it fuels violence.
• Society, parents need to rethink the kinds of toys being given to boy children; some of these promote violence as a norm of human behaviour.
• Role models and perpetrators should speak out and denounce GBV.

6. OVER THE NEXT YEAR WHAT CAN WE DO TO ENSURE THAT MORE MEN AND BOYS ARE INVOLVED IN ADDRESSING GBV?

• It will be difficult for boys to speak out because of societal and background expectations.
• The ‘player ‘ concept should be encouraged that encourage young boys to speak out.
• Legislators should make sure GBV is part of the curriculum at levels of education starting from kindergatten. Parents should also talk about GBV.
• Engage with more men forums like Padare so that dialogue is sustainned throughout the year.
• Encourage learning across countries and share best practices like the Padare and Sonke examples across the region.