Botswana: Dikeledi Pono Kgosietsile

“All should be aboard as GBV issues respect no boundary.”

Short story that may be funny; emotional or significant in other ways that demonstrates the essence of the relationship and draws the reader into the piece.

Changing one person’s life adds value to the future generation.

Gender links shaped my character as an individual. Being in a forefront young woman in Institutions gives me the opportunity to meet different people. Some thinks they can take you for granted as a young woman. Gender Links armed me with all the necessary tools to stand my ground and understand that I am a role player in Issues of Gender base Violence.

Issues of intergenerational affairs are challenges in our society, however as a Driver of Change I manage to encourage one young fellow who thought We could have an intergenerational Affair ,. I though he disrespect me because I am a woman , I agreed to meet him and understand why he should approach me as a married woman. He told me that married woman is responsible and able to take care of young lovers. I told Him that yes He could be an orphan however that is not a passport for Him to destroy his live with older people just lo sell his life .I encouraged him to look for school and stop ruining his life with Sugar Mummies as they will destroy His life and move on with their lives.

Currently the young man who I am 10 years older than him he is a student at Technical Collage.

To Him I am now a sister we share life skills together and I encourage him to work hard and be a better person in future.

1. A short history of the beneficiary’s learning journey with GL

• Describe the nature of the beneficiary’s work. I am a Public Relations Officer for Selebi PhikweTown Council ,therefore have opportunity to work with different people from all spheres of life and share the Gender Based Violence message with these people .
• Give a brief history of the beneficiary’s first and subsequent encounters with GL: please include any negative experiences. I was introduced to Gender Links by joining the Gender Committee in Selebi Phikwe Town Council in 2012.Being in the Gender Committee allows individuals to work tirelessly to spread the Gende Base Violence messages, at times it is hard because, for the fpreviors year our council was represented by amale person , individually I doubted my ability as a woman to represent our council(Mindset problem) also resources are not easly available or the message recipients being the public are not keen to listen to the messages given to them as they believes Gender Links is corrupting the minds of the female figures not to listen to their husbands or boyfriends .
• Please capture any light bulb moments, through anecdotes and examples. During sixteen days of against activism on Gender Base Violence one lady said that she is hiding –prevention pills in food basket which we discouraged and encouraged her to talk with her husband.

1. Change at the individual level

• What has changed in this person’s life?Before knowing adout Gende Issues She was staying in a living together  relationship, as she did not know that abusive relationshipsare encouraged by cohabiting.Hoever  as adriver of change she realise that it was importent to encourage her spouse to make things right befor the law of the county and do justice to their children to understand their inheritance. Why has it changed? Her status in the society and the family life.
• give examples and triangulate evidence
• Is there any specific person at GL who is responsible for this change? Please be specific. What does this person have to say?The Gender Affairs Coordinator in Selebi Phikwe Town, Ms Patricia Masase encouraged me to understand that Gender Issues are done through love and is a special calling for people who want to see a significant change in their society. One needs to be willing to sacrifice his time to serve the community with love.
• What skills; knowledge; values and attitudes has the beneficiary gained through working with GL? What evidence is there to support this?There is immense change in my life firstly having knowledge through Gender compelled mi to change my life style and work well together with my partner to ensure that we get married.These assisted our children to have their fathers surname, currently we are building a Home , it is easy because we are united in Holy Matrimony , thank you Gender Links.
• What other factors/people have been responsible for this change? Please give examples.The Good Samaritan Asociation helped us through Marital Counselling By Pastor Rriksson & Sinah Teemane from Apostolic Faith Mission Church. Good Samaritan Association is the NGO in Selebi Phikwe that deals with Issues of GBV in a faith Based Organisation. Therefore as I am a member of Gender Committee I managed to rub shoulders with people who made it easy for mi to take the message to my fiancée then through their help we are now happily married.
• Who else has been responsible for this change? Please quote this person/ people as well. Mrs Segopotso Dikai, the Selebi Phikwe Town Council GenderFocul Person encouraged mi not to doubt myself and belive in the work I do, as one cannot give what he/she does not have. Mrs Dikai believed in my potential more hence I managed to take the Gender Baton and carry the message across to my fellow workers and people around me.

1. Change at the level of close relations

• Do the changes at the individual level reflect in the way this person relates to those closest to them – e.g. a spouse, partner, son, daughter, or other close family members? Please give examples. At Home duties are shared well and respect is the foundation of our home , the hole family understand that everything should be done for the benefit of us all, there ie no my…its ours with love!
• Our children understand that as their parents we treat each other’s well even as siblings there should be equal sharing of house chores either one is male or female.
• How do these close relations respond to the change? Please quote them if possible.

1. Change at the community level

• How is change in one person’s life influencing other lives? Please give examples and quote others. Being knowledgeable about Gender influence me to speak with my colleagues young woman who believes it is fine to have relationships and chage boyfriends if and when they want, I seat and discuss with them at lunch time to tell them the negativity of wasting their precious time in the way they live.

Some will be dating different people and I will openly discourage that and try to tell them the better way of living in an acceptable way, one  has to look back in future and be proud of their deeds.

• What innovation has this person brought to their learning? What have they added themselves: Personally I lent to share the knowledge I have with others , as Gender Base Violence does not respect any boundary I lent to use every opportunity given to me to speak againt GBV. During the International World Mens Day, which was heald in Selebi Phikwe, I lent that research indicates that man die prematurely due to different factors.

1. Change at the societal level

• How have this person’s actions changed laws, policies and or practices? Please quote supporting and corroborating evidence. No
• How is this person creating new knowledge? How is this being fed back to GL? How is GL making use of the learning? As a Gender Committee member in Selebi Phikwe Town Council ,I participate in information dissemination to ensure the society is reached with Gender messages. The information is used to encourage others to stay away from abusive relationships. For now I do not have a channel that I use as an individual  to Give Gender links feedback, the only platform is trough District Gender Affairs Office or the Committee that I a

1. Next steps

• What challenges have been faced on this learning journey and how have they been overcome? Challenges are present on our way to reach the Gender message, mostly the public are misinformed and think , Gender Activists are encourages people to lose their culture and start to be disrespectful to their husbands. However we take time discuss the Gender message and allow them to understand and ask questions to have more understanding.
• What are the beneficiary’s future plans ?For future I believe it is essential to teach Primary school Children as they are easily accessible and working for Local Government it is easy to arrange through our Gender Champion Mr Letumile Molodi to address our local primary pupils.

Information lent by fresh minds will have impact in future as these will be young informed people, and they can practice what they lent.

• Concluding thoughts –“ Be the change you want to see ”! Botswana and the world can change to be a better place for all if all stakeholders can do their part , live by example, and never turn a blind eye on issues of GBV as they can corrode the morals of our society.