Nomhlolo Rubulana – South Africa

Gender links’ training came to me as if I were asleep. I mean the information I got there for the first time. Other women seem to have known their role even though I was not. I have been trying to do my best. The only thing I used to understand about gender was about differentiating roles in the family according to my husband and myself. In Gender links I have learned that we are both equal even in the family, except in things that are physically created by God, like for women giving birth.

The training made me clear on what our constitution is saying when it says, “the people shall govern” it doesn’t really say “men,” but people. It is then that I realised that I can be part of decision-making. I can be a leader and can decide for both men and women. I also realised that life is not life only because a man is next to you, but you can make it with or without him.

It was 2011 when I realised that I’ve relied too much on my partner, not even thinking that he can cheat. There was that day that came to my life which I will never forget. It was the day before Valentine’s Day when I received a call from an unknown person telling me that my partner is having an affair with his fiancé. I did not believe my ears, but I tried to be nice and invited that man into my house to talk face to face. The man indeed came and explained all.

I was heartbroken because my partner was everything to me. I did not ask him anything but remembered what I learned from Gender Links. It was from that day that I started implementing and exercising the lessons that I got from the workshop and training.

From that day on, I realised that I must not expect a man to do all things for me, but I can do them myself. I then started being a woman and a man in my house and in the entire community. I started calling meetings of men and women in my house, teaching them about gender issues. Oppression of women by men was discussed right in their presence. Women then realised their strength being in those meetings. Even my partner started realising my strength there, and learned that the workshops of Gender links that I am attending are not just another meeting, but something that needs to be taken into consideration. Today, my partner knows how to support me. I therefore respect Gender Links in what they taught me, especially Ausi Mpho and Susan who are sharing a lot with us. Thank you Gender links.

Today most women are on a learning curve because of what I discussed with them about gender issues. Men in my area are even showing us more respect with the information they are receiving.