SA: Nokuthula Nomzaza

“Prosperity is not without many fears and disasters; and adversity is not without comforts and hopes.” 

I first meet gender Links through Ntombi who was my social worker when I was going through a rough time of my life and I thought life is ending for me. She invited me to the workshop with Gender links, where I meet other women and we talked about our problems, I thought I was the only one going through tough times and I got to sit with other women and went home lighter and empowered after writing my I story.

All the workshops I have attended through Gender Links have been good to me as a person. I remember were invited to the workshop in Braamfontein with Sonke Justice and for the first time I managed to stand up in the group of people who were strangers and I spoke about my situation and my status and people clapped their hands for me after I spoke and told me that I was a loves and beautiful woman. And since that day I have never looked back. I talk when needed to about women’s issues. And the workshop that I attended for Gender Links have been very helpful with information in my life because I managed with other women from the community.

I joined the training when Gender Links came for the “I stories” workshop. I did not attend all the courses. I could not attend some because I was working, I had a part time job as a child minder for someone. Everything I have learnt in the training has been useful to me and me opening of the crèche that we have opened as group of women in the Scelo community. Although the crèche is not doing well as most of the parents are not working and they don’t pay the fees sometimes. And we find it very difficult to operate the business. We are getting some grant from the government for our salaries as the staff at the crèche per month, we try to survive with the little money we get from the parents who pay and something go to the shops and ask for donations and that is how we survive as the business.  

Before the training I was just doing odd jobs. And now I am a help to run a crèche in my community. And most of the things I have learnt in the training have helped us in the business as we now have a saving account for the business. And the funds we are getting from the government have been very helped in us sustaining the crèche. 

My husband used to be so abusive towards me but now he has changed. He left me in our shack to stay with other women for some months and he recently come back sick and all the time he was away I had bought a double bed and    somethings for the house. Things are better between us but the problem now he does not want to use a condom and when I refuse he get angry and we fight. At time I would use the women’s condom and he would move it on the side. I have lost all the interest in sex just because he does not want to use condoms and I won’t compromise my health for anything. One nice thing that come out of these is that I now can talk to my neighbours about my status without being afraid or shameful.  

There has been a drastic change in my life and attitudes towards life. My confidence have increased I am not the shy women who would be at the corner. I can talk about my feeling. 

In the future we would like to own my own crèche with lots of children and my community being established and more advanced. If it is possible for Gender Links to come and work with more women from Scelo community as we have them experiencing violence and poverty. Encourage most of them to start their own business.