SA: Turning pain to power

Thandeka Dlamini, who is from a traditional area in rural KwaZulu Natal, which is one of South Africa’s nine provinces, is emerging as a leader of other women in the Imbokodo Women Empowerment group. Dlamini, who was forced into marriage at the age of 15, was referred to Incema’s SheCAN project by Pastor Sabelo Zungu, a community leader and a member of the Incema Men’s Forum. Incema is a Voice and Choice Southern Africa Fund (VCSAF) grantee in South Africa.

Dlamini endured years of abuse in her marriage and her first child, born when she was only 16, has severe cerebral palsy. The child cannot sit, stand, or speak. To ensure proper care for her child, Dlamini enrolled her in a facility in Hillcrest, a small town close to her home. She is using the child’s government provided disability grant to pay for the service.

The SheCAN programme is helping Dlamini to turn her life around. She has received counselling and psycho-social support which supported her emotional healing and empowered her to leave her abusive marriage to start a new chapter in her life. She has also learnt about bodily autonomy, contraceptive use, and self-awareness. This knowledge has been critical in helping her regain control over her life to ensure a healthier future for herself and her children. Dlamini moved to a town that is closer to Hillcrest to be able to visit her child over weekends. She has found a job in a factory not too far away.

Incema is negotiating with a local Technical and Vocational Education and Training (TVET) college, to provide Dlamini with skills that can help her generate income and break free from dependence on abusive environments. While waiting for formal bursary opportunities and skills programmes that may be available in 2025, Dlamini has enrolled in a six-month Civil Engineering Technical Construction course. She is balancing her studies, job, and motherhood. Her priorities are challenging, as she struggles to prioritise her mental health while focusing on providing for her children. She is participating in on-going therapy at Incema, where she receives guidance and emotional support to navigate her challenges.
Dlamini has joined the Imbokodo Women Empowerment group of young women who were married as children at Incema. Together, the young women raise awareness about child marriages, with plans to run educational programmes for young girls in schools, and develop income-generating initiatives such as sewing, beadwork, and baking. The group is a safe space for members to discuss their challenges and support one another in their healing journey. Dlamini has taken a leadership role in the group.

The Incema Men’s Forum that began in 2021 is comprised of traditional and other community leaders who are committed to addressing gender-based violence (GBV) and domestic violence. Members of the Men’s Forum work with other stakeholders, to ensure proper referrals and support. Traditional authorities from four local communities (KwaMpumuza, Inadi, KwaMafunze, and Incwadi) are represented in the forum. Traditional and other community leaders play a crucial role in promoting change within their communities. They plan and implement activities to address GBV in the communities.

Dlamini’s story is a testament to the profound impact of combining community-based support with traditional leadership engagement. With Incema’s guidance and the support, she is determined to break free from the cycle of abuse and ensure that her daughters grow up free from patriarchal oppression. Dlamini’s journey from a victim of child marriage to a leader advocating for change reflects her resilience and the power of the She CAN programme, which focuses on Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) and gender equality. She continues to advocate for the rights of young women in her community, seeking to end the harmful cultural practices that have affected so many lives.
Reflecting on her journey, Dlamini says, “I want to go back to my community and be an example, to bring hope to other women who are victims of child marriages.”