Self-image

“It is just few months since I started working with Gender Links (GL) or knowing it very well, but it has already given me another life and my life has changed so drastically that I cannot believe it.À My name is Monyane Ntoi and I work as chairperson of the Phuthiatsana Community Council and I have been a councillor for almost nine years now. It has been quite a journey, but I wish I could have known Gender Links earlierÀ

My first meeting with Gender Links (GL) was very hectic because I was not interested in gender issues. Now that I am gender aware, the outcome has reflected on the community I am serving and that is bringing light. My job is to change people’s lives at the grassroots level from the worst position to better off economically, socially and politically. My office is contiguous to the community.

The most memorable experience that Malesoli had with Gender Links (GL) was the first summit that was held in Lesotho in 2013. Her council was invited to go and just have a look at what the summit was all about. She mentioned that she had no clue about what was going on, but she said she was excited to be part of such an amazing event, however, she kept asking herself if it was true that she was not supposed to present like other councils.

Gender Links shaped my character as an individual. Being a young woman in the forefront of an institution gives me the opportunity to meet different people. Some think they can take you for granted as a young woman. Gender Links armed me with all the necessary tools to stand my ground and understand that I am a role player around issues of gender based violence.

Justice Masekane heads the human resources department and is also the station manager’s personal assistant (PA). When asked about his job he smiled and said I am a qualified office manager and I am not ashamed of my qualifications. “Most men take offence at the kind of job that I do and funny enough I don’t,À adds Masekane. Justice attended his first Gender Links (GL) workshop in Venda as part of the stations in-house training.

Esther Musindo was born in 1972 as the only female child in a family that adored male children. She grew up in a family where there was no peace because her mother was despised for the “offenceÀ of failing to give birth to male children.

Noor is a vibrant, active and probably the most excited community radio station manager in the Limpopo region. Noor has traveled to many countries and describes himself as a versatile manager. He says the SADC protocol DVD and a short story called Dump City captured his attention and made him realise that women are hard workers. “As I was watching the SADC protocol DVD, I got a sense that women are tired of being sidelined and that there are men out there who are willing to be part of the change that is necessary.À

Well, Gender Links (GL) has caused me to travel a lot. Since the first workshop, that day for the first time in my life, I travelled by bus to Quatre Bornes. The year following that meeting, I would travel alone for the first time by plane to Johannesburg! Today when I sit and think back, I feel amazed at how, being merely active with an organisation can cause such significant change in attitude and behaviour. GL has helped me grow into the person I am today.

During the district level summit (DLS), Dorise says she felt very at ease with everyone. It was the first time she had met the people, yet she felt that they all knew each other. The atmosphere itself was such. During the event she found it funny that among the audience there was a group of women constantly taking pictures. Each time the Gender Links (GL) staff member would pass by, they would ask her to take a picture of them in different poses. She thinks they were in an official setting, but the atmosphere was very light.

I am a woman who experienced gender based violence (GBV) for more than 10 years because I could not give my then husband a child. As a result, he resorted to treating me like an animal.

A woman who was able to disclose, for the first time in her life, in front of fourteen women victims of gender based violence, that she was a victim of sexual abuse at the age of 8 years old, and the powerful support and hope generated in this group. This is the most memorable experience that I have lived through with Gender Links (GL). It was amazing, as a clinical psychologist, to create a safe and respectful environment for the women, and to observe that through training in entrepreneurship, the participants were able to release their sufferings in order to allow themselves to move on and build a new life based on self-respect, independence and achievement.

My husband abused me emotionally and it affected my well-being. He was working in South Africa and he rarely sent money home and when he did he would send as little as R 500. I struggled to survive with my child since my eldest child had also left for South Africa. It was a stressful situation for me because I was still married to my husband and I depended on him for survival.