RANDRIANANTENAINA Narindrasoa

RANDRIANANTENAINA Narindrasoa


Date: March 31, 2016
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“It’s possible to beat violence”

My name is RANDRIANANTENAINA Narindrasoa; I live in the village of Famonjena, Bongatsara; I am married with two children, a boy and a girl. I am, at the time when I write this, 26 years of age and I got married when I was 19.

I have gone through quite rough time until now, especially during my marriage. I have never enjoyed anything in my life, especially during my married life suffering from various abuses from the family, the husband, and even the neighbours.

Even though I have endured violence, I am one of those who have been lucky to get Gender Links training since October 2013. I found out about the training through the CECJ Ambohibao and the Council of Bongatsara.

At that time, I was completely destitute, being dominated and abused with no hope of thriving at all.

It was the training that made me aware that I was a person with a proper identity, with the capacity to fight and succeed in life.

When I took part in the training I started hoping to see the end of the abuses and to recovering all the losses.

I started following each one of the phases I was taught during the training.

I needed the advice and the experience so as not to act blindly like other people, hence I was quite confident.

I followed all the steps presented during the training:

  • phase one: equality and violence;
  • phase two: getting a job and creating service jobs;
  • phase three: identifying any management shortcomings with the help of a mentor

I realized that all these presentations were needed as they were complementary and quite useful when I set up and launched my project.

However, there were some problems with my husband during the training, since I was often absent and he said that I was wasting my time.

But in the end he was won over when he saw how I was running the household, and he encouraged me to attend the training sessions.

He realized that, after the training sessions, I was holding some sort of “progress secret” that made me different from the other women, that I was ready to support him and face up to problems and all the while, keep a positive attitude. The former slandering and threatening language has become coaxing and flattering.

Indeed, I used to work in a quarry before but the control was strict and violent there and I had no experience, hence no hope for progress.

It was the training I followed that made me aware that I am an individual with a personal identity who can achieve great things in life.

So, I had the idea of setting up a business, according to my old times’ dream, my very own business that I do not share with anybody. I had a lot of help from the training.

The council gave their support — and I thank them for that — as they enrolled me for the training and the road repair.

I also thank Gender Links for the training that allowed me to acquire experience and skills and to get some financial help for my business.

I would like to remind you, reader, of the violence I have suffered from my husband and my neighbours: psychological and moral violence, “economic violence” (withholding money), physical aggression (beating, etc.)

Today I bear witness that I am no longer subjected to any violence thanks to Gender Links. The people in the neighbourhood are absolutely amazed and the changes I have undergone have also affected them.

Thus, my husband now expresses love and offers help on both important and trivial matters (washing-up, cooking, tidying the house, etc.)

In the eyes of the whole family, I have become a charming sweet-natured person able to give her opinion freely and they appreciate that my ideas are excellent and worthwhile.

As for the community, it was as if they were witnessing a miracle since they thought that I could not achieve anything as I was rather reserved before. They were surprised to see that my husband and I loved each other to the point of officially registering our marriage, whereas my man was known to be a womanizer before. I was the envy of a lot of people.

I do not want to be selfish so I tell them — especially those who are subjected to violence — how I managed, all the stages I went through.

I insist on the fact that violence is not going to disappear as long as there is a dependency relationship between them and the men. You have to show your personality as a woman (competent, ready to face life and capable of suppressing violence).

I have become some sort of community adviser whenever there is a problem either in the household or in the community as such. For example patching up a couple who has decided to split up and the elders have given up on them. I was actually called to the quarry at that time.

It is in this way that I can pass on to the community the concept of gender equality such as the man being the head of the family does not mean that the woman cannot have her own mind; it is an opportunity for me to correct wrong ideas such as one takes a wife in order to take care of her and she has to do the housekeeping and rear children.

My message to those women like me is: “change your mind and get yourself a job so that you are not a burden to the community.”

There are still many Malagasy women who, suffering from violence and in deep despair, require and hope for some help from you in order to develop this country.

In a few words, the training has radically changed my life (from bad to good). I applied to my life what I had learned from the training so as not to waste Gender Links’ effort and money  and to bring satisfaction to the trainers.

I will not stop at this stage but will endeavor to change for the better as my next goal is to build myself a villa that suits my status of a business woman apart from the house I already own, and in order to have two sources of income, I would like to get a lorry to transport my produce, my husband being a lorry driver, and a hammer drill as well as a blasting kit.

I would like to express how satisfied and grateful I am because of the changes in my life, I am happy to share with my neighbours.

I thank all the Gender Links staff! Bless you!

I also thank the Council of Bongatsara, especially the Mayor!

 

 

RANDRIANANTENAINA Narindrasoa

« Afaka resena ny herisetra »

RANDRIANANTENAINA Narindrasoa no anarako, monina ao amin’ny village Famonjena, Bongatsara, manambady ary manan-janaka mianadahy. 26 taona aho izao manoratra izao ary tamin’ny faha 19 taonako aho no nanambady.

Betsaka ny zavatra nosedraiko hatramin’izao, indrindra fa tao anatin’ny fotoana nanambadiako. Tsy mba nahita maminy tamin’ny fiainana aho, indrindra nandritra ny fotoana nanambadiako satria dia niharan’ny herisetra isan-karazany avy amin’ny fianakaviana, ny vady, eny avy amin’ny mpiara-monina aza.

Na dia niharan’ny herisetra aza aho dia anisan’ireo nanam-bitana satria nahazo fiofanana tamin’ny Gender Links nanomboka tamin’ny oktôbra 2013. Ny CECJ Ambohibao sy ny kaominina Bongatsara no nahalalako io fiofanana io.

Tsy mbola nanana na inona na inona aho tamin’izany satria olona voageja sy niharan’ny herisetra ka tsy afaka nivelatra.

Ny fiofanana no nampisokatra sy nampivelatra ny saiko ka nahalalako fa manana ny maha izaho ahy aho ary tokony hihoitra amin’ny fiainana ary ho tafita.

Rehefa niofana aho dia nanana fanantenana amin’ny hifaranan’ny herisetra amin’ny fanarenana ny fatiatonka rehetra.

Niainga aho ary nanaraka ireo dingana rehetra natoro ahy nadritra ny fiofanana.

Ilaiko ny hevitra sy ny traikefa mba tsy handehanako an-jambany toa ny olon-kafa ary nanana fahatokisan-tena tanteraka aho.

Nanaraka ireo dingana rehetra tamin’ny fiofanana aho: dingana voalohany: miralenta sy herisetra, dingana faharoa: fananana sy fananganana asa fandraharana ary ny dingana fahatelo: niarahana tamin’ny mpitan-tsoroka nahitako ny lesoka tamin’ny fitantanana.

Hitako fa tena nilaina avokoa ireo lahadinika rehetra ireo satria nifameno ho entiko mamolavola sy miatrika ny tetikasako.

Nisy ihany anefa ny olana kely nosedraiko tamin’ny vadiko nandritra ny fiofanana, noho izaho mandeha foana ka nilazany fa mandany andro aho.

Resy lahatra ihany anefa izy taty aoriana noho ny fahitany ny fitondrako ny tokantrano ary namporisika ahy izy taty aoriana hamonjy ny fiofanana.

Tsapany ho manana sekrem-pivoarana izay tsy itovizako amin’ny vehivavy hafa aho taorian’ny fiofanana ary vehivavy vonona hifanohana aminy sy sahy miatrika olana ary manana fomba fijery tsara hatrany.Ilay fanalam-baraka sy fandrahonana taloha lasa dokadoka sy tambitamby.

Niasa nikapo-bato ihany aho taloha nefa niaina tamin’ny fangejana tao anaty herisetra sy ny tsy fahampian’ny traikefa ka tsy nivoatra.

Ny fiofanana narahiko no nahalalako fa manana ny maha izaho ahy aho ary afa-manao zavatra tsara sady goavana eo amin’ny fiainako.

Nanan-kevitra ary aho hanangana orinasa, araka ny efa nofinofiko ela, orinasa ahy tsy iankinako amin’olona. Ny fiofanana no nanampy ahy betsaka.

Nanampy ahy betsaka ny kaominina ary isaorako betsaka izy satria izy no nampiditra ahy ho mpiofana sy ny fanamboarana ny lalana.

Isaorako koa ny Gender Links noho ny fiofanana nahazoako traikefa sy fahaiza-manao sy ny fanampiana ara-bola nanampiako ny ho enti-manana.

Hampahatsiaro kely anao mpamaky ny herisetra, avy amin’ny vadiko sy ny mpiara-monina, nianjady tamiko taloha aho: herisetra ara-tsaina sy ara-moraly, herisetra ara-ekonomika (tsy fanomezana vola), herisetra ara-batana (daroka, sns…)

Ankehitriny dia mijoro ho vavolombelona aho fa tsy ianjadian’ny herisetra mihitsy noho ny Gender Links. Gaga tanteraka ny manodidina ary niantraika aminy ny fiovako.

Nisy fiantraikany lehibe teo amin’ny manodidina ahy ny fiovana teo amin’ny fiainako. Teo amin’ny vadiko dia lasa naneho fitiavana izy ka nanampy ahy tamin’ny kely indrindra hatramin’ny lehibe indrindra (sasa vilia, fandrahoana sakafo, fampiriman-trano, sns…)

Teo amin’ny fianakaviana dia lasa mamy hoditra aho ary afaka maneho hevitra an-kalalahana ary tsapan’izy ireo fa manana hevi-dalina tokoa aho.

Teo amin’ny fiaraha-monina indray dia toa ny nahita fahagagana (miracle) ry zareo satria tsy nihevitra ahy hahavita zavatra ry zareo noho izaho nipetrapetraka kely teo aloha. Nahagaga azy ireo ny fifankatiavanay mivady, izay lasa nanao sora-panambadiana, nefa rangahy dia maditra be sy mpanitsakitsa-bady teo aloha. Mitsiriritra ahy ny olona.

Ialako anefa ny fitiavan-tena ka dia manoro azy ireo ny lalana nizorako sy ny dingana nataoko aho, indrindra fa ho an’ireo mbola iharan’ny herisetra.

Ambarako hatrany fa tsy ho foana ny herisetra raha mbola misy ny fiankinan-doha amin’ny lehilahy. Tokony haseho izany ny maha vehivavy anao (mahavita, sahy miatrika fiainana, afaka manafoana ny herisetra).

Lasa filan-kevitry ny mpiara-monina aho rehefa misy olana mitranga (ara-tokantrano, ara-piaraha-monina. Ohatra amin’izany ny famitranana ny fanambadian’olona efa tapa-kevitra ny hisaraka ka efa tsy efan’ny ray aman-dreny intsony. Nantsoina tany amin’ny carrière mihitsy aho tamin’io fotoana io.

Anjara biriky entiko hampianarana ny fiaraha-monina misy ahy ny foto-kevitra ijoroan’ny miralenta toy ny hoe lahy lohan’ ny vavy dia tsy midika hoe tsy fahafahan’ny vavy maneho hevitra, fanitsiana ny hevi-diso sasany toy ny  fiheveran’ny vavy fa ho velomina no akana azy ho vady ary mikarakara tokantrano sy mitaiza zaza ihany no andraikiny

Ny hafatro ho an’ireo vehivavy toa ahy dia ny hoe ovao aloha ny toe-tsaina ary manàna anton’asa mba tsy ho vesatra ho an’ny fiaraha-monina.

Mbola maro ny vehivavy malagasy miaina amin’ny herisetra sy ao anatin’ny lavaka mangitsokitsoka ka mangataka sy manantena ny fanampiana avy aminareo mba hampandroso ity firenena ity.

Ho famehezana dia nampitsimbadika ny fiainako ny fiofanana (ratsy mankany amin’ny tsara).

Nampihariko tamin’ny fiainako ny fampiofanana mba tsy haha very maina ny ezaka sy vola lanin’ny Gender Links ary ho fifalian’ny mpampiofana.

Tsy hionona amin’izao aho fa mbola hiezaka hivoatra hatrany ka ny tanjoko manaraka dia ny hahavita villa mendrika ny maha mpandrahara ahy ankoatra ny trano efa ananako, ny hanana camion hitatitra ny vokatra mba ho vola karazany roa no hiditra, ny vadiko moa mpamily fiara rahateo, ny hanana machine fandavahana sy fanapoahana vato

Maneho ny fifaliana ombam-pisaorana aho noho ny fiovam-piainako, faly aho mahazo mizara amin’ny manodidina

Misaotra manokana sy mitso-drano anareo mpiara-miasa ao amin’ny Gender Links

Misaotra ny Kaominina Bongatsara indrindra fa ny Ben’ny tanàna