Sandra Abrahams

I was very young when I lost my parents and my grandmother raised us three (3) children. I was seventeen (17) years old when I came to George and this is where I met the father of my children. When I was nineteen (19) my first child was one (1) year old.

I got married at 23 years old and this is when the abuse started. I was always afraid when he said bad things to me and to say things back to him because I was afraid he was going to hit me. My children were also very small then and I had to do everything in my power to protect them. It became worse and worse. He always had a problem with everything that I did and my house work. Many times I came home from night shift and found my children sitting outside. He never worried if they were okay and I had to have them sleep at my neighbour’s house because he would put them out at night while I was at work.

He would also scold at me and said ugly words to my children. He loved belittling me in front of people and his family. He even threw my two (2) year son against his head with an astray. I called the police and they only held him at the police station for one night because they said he was drunk but what if he threw my son to death?

The next thing he did when I was at work was that he attacked my daughter. While she was sleeping he hit her with a glass in her hand. She had to undergo an operation because of the attack by her father while I was at work.

He worked but I never received money from him but yet he expected a warm plate of food every evening. I worked alone for my children every day and night and although they were young I did not have another choice especially because their father gave me nothing. He would rather shout at me when I asked him for money for food for his children. He hated it when I bought my children things and would shout ugly words at me. He would also start throwing things around in the house and that hurt me and my children a lot because the names that he called me were very bad.

I also became hypertensive (high blood pressure) and had high stress levels because of him but he was not worried about me. He just continued as if nothing happened. Then I decided that enough is enough because he abused my children and couldn’t just sit back and watch. Everything that he did to my family broke me. I then decided to divorce him and to start my life anew with my children.

And then I met Maria and she told me about Gender Links. It changed my life after I attended the first session (phase) and I was a new person. And I thank the entire team member that support and motivate each other. And this is my story.