*Scelo

My name is Scelo, I am fifty girl born in a rural village if Kwazulu Natal. I was born in a neighbourhood as the clinic was far away from us. My parents were both married and my mother was a first wife. I am coming from an extended family of a polygamy. My grandfather had four wives, and my father had four wives as well.
My father was leaving in Durban where he used to work, we did not know him that his was our father. He used to come once a year during Christmas. My mother as a first wife used to stay at home as she was not allowed to work. She had given birth to four girls and me the fifty girl. Being the fifty girl in my family I was not liked and my grandmother had to organise some traditional muti so that my mother would give birth to a boy child. My grandparents organise the muti and my parents had to drink that so that they could have a boy child and my mother took it to my father in Durban for him.
Immediately my mother conceived and gave birth to me, I was then born, fortunately my father was there when I was born. My mother was helped by an old lady from the neighborhood. The news spread that she gave birth to a girl, when my grandparents were told they became very angry, as I was the unwanted child, they were very disappointed. And my father as well.
My mother had to wait three days before she could give me a name as she was not sure what to name me. She then named me Masicelo. I grow up with that rejection from birth.
When I was 8years old I became very sick but without knowing as I was a child. Schooling for me was not easy as I had to repeat most of my classes. I started my periods when I was 14 years of age and I notice that mine were not normal as other girls my age. And in our culture there is no talk about girl’s issues.
After I was born my mother manage to give birth to two boys. When I was supposed to do my Grade 10 then I moved to Soweto with my extended family. I was sent there to continue with my studies and I also worked as a domestic worker.
I used to get up very early in the morning and prepare the children for the crèche, then prepare for my aunt as well. And then I would prepare myself for school. My school was not far from my home. I managed to pass my studies eventually. As a zulu girl born in the village born with the rejection life was difficult for me as I did not know English and sotho languages.
My aunt had a son who was not working, he used to have an outside room. One day I was at home he came in the house and I was alone he raped me, tried to fight him but he was too strong for me and he was older than me. Once I was done raping me he phoned my aunt, who then came home as she was still at work. She made me lay down in her bed asking me what he did. As I was explaining to her she started shouting and hitting me.
My aunt wanted to see that I was still a virgin and she was very disappointed with me. Then we went to see a family doctor and then he referred us to other doctor who then referred us to Baragwanath Hospital. At the hospital they checked and found out that I was not a virgin and I was not pregnant. My aunt told me nurses and social workers that she found me on the streets I did not have parents and I liked her son. I was asked to demonstrate what has happened, I failed as I did not know what to do as I was told I liked him.
So we left the hospital without counselling. My aunt left me there then I followed her. But we did not tell anyone in the family. My cousin was arrested after six months we want to Protea Glen court and I was 16 years of age and it was my first time in court. He was freed as they said that I was lying about the whole rape.
I became very angry and  told one of my sisters who is now late. My sister was very angry and she sent me money to go back home. I asked my aunt if I could visit home and she agreed and I took my school report as I knew I was not coming back and I left.
When I arrived in Kwazulu Natal I looked for a school with the help of my parents and I passed that year. In the year 2002 I started to volunteer in an NGO after I went abroad without knowing that I had a fear of men in my life. I was then counseled. I came back to SA in the year 2012 in December but still fearing rejection. Meeting my family after 8 years of being away from them, I then told again that I was raped as a child and that pained me so much. I met Gender Links in the year 2014 and I met lots of women and established a lots of relationship with the women. I started enjoying the workshops in 2015 in June I went to the Gender Links SA Summit and I won and since then my confidence level has increased so much. Thank you Gender Links.