*Vicky

I still remember when we started at Donald Fraser Hospital. I remember when we were writing our “I stories” workshop. It helps me a lot because I was short tempered and angry because of the problems that I was facing every day of my life. Writing my stories helps me a lot I had peace in my mind.
I have learned that as a person I don’t have to just sit and wait, I also stand as a woman and start my own business of selling clothes at the social grant pay point. I am a women that I am today because of the help I got from TVEP and the Gender Links programme.
Gender Links is playing a big role in my life. Meeting with other women who have through the same problems it help me realize that I’m not alone, and talking about it helps. I started the training with the “I stories” workshop and it was good, writing the “I stories” helps me a lot it took the burden away from my shoulders. They way those causes help me I never even miss, I attended them all. All the time when I come to TVEP my soul becomes free.
In all the training the most important one for me was the one for the business plan. I didn’t know how to write a business plan and, is very important because when you start a business you need to have a business plan. All the courses where very important to me, specially the one for computer, because I didn’t know how to use a computer. The one for pricing was also good, I’m not good in mathematics, but I have learned and understand a lot. I also didn’t know about record keeping, but now I understand it better.

I was a women who was just sitting at home doing nothing. Now I’m selling clothes, I go to Johannesburg to buy the stock. The trainings have helped me a lot because I sell my staff and save my profit in my bank account. Before I was just selling and eat the money. No Councillors have helped me, only Gender Links people help me.
Before my husband was abusing me, now is better there is a lot of changes. What I was going through before was too much but now is better, may is because they are seeing that I’m getting help, because before I come to TVEP I call the police and also start with the training. May be they are scared. Even if the left and leave me with no money I don’t care because I can afford to buy food for myself and my kinds, without saying anything to him. Until he come back by himself. Now I can sit down with my husband and talk about our problems, even if he wrong me I tell him that I’m not happy with what you did to me and ha say sorry. Even if I wrong him myself I ask for forgiveness. There is peace in my house.
It’s good to have money, people don’t take you for granted and they respect you. You also become independent, even the husband respect you because you are no longer dependent.

Before I couldn’t accept myself, I was scared thinking that people took my ideas for granted. But now at my church they can put me on the programme and I can motivate women and children and they listen to me. The women always tell me that I’m strong and I have a heat of sympathy to other people.
My neighbors husband was bringing other women at home, one she came to me crying that her husband is abusing her because he is bringing other women at home. I sit down with her and advice her to allow him to do that, she must talk to him. If he does not listen she can go to the Social workers or Police, and she took my advice.

I has learned a lot, that women must stand for herself and not to tolerate abuse. There is no one who is above the law. I know where to go for help. I also know how to help other [people who are going through the problems that I have gone through. I want to see myself with a big business, 5 shops and be able to employee other people for them to be able to look after their families.
Gender Links I salute your organization, without you I would never be where I am today, I gained self confidence, to believe in myself, most of all to appreciate myself and who I am. Guess what? What you have done to my life really help me. Do the same to others like you do to me, I love, and God bless you.