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I thought being the first baby girl in the family was such an enjoyable thing, but my father (Tlebere) showed me his true colours and that having a single, ignorant and abusive parent can destroy every good thing you may have. My name is Relebohile; I am a single woman of 23 and am self-employed. I live with my younger brother and our father who is unemployed. He used to provide everything for the family after my mother passed away.
I completed my diploma in marketing management in 2010. It was in the very same year after getting my diploma that my father started to act strangely until I took him to the family elders to be disciplined. My father usually works in the fields to keep himself busy. One day when he came from the field, he asked for food and bathing water and I did as requested. My little brother (Keketso) is a disabled person, so he cannot walk far. For us to eat or have clothes I have to go and do piece jobs or my father has to sell his seeds. He has three cattle that he uses in the fields. Keketso was told to take the cows to the fields when he comes home from school and he always did that. That day he came home early before my brother could get back from school. He removed the ropes from the cows’ necks and looked after them. When Keke came home from school, he told him to take off his uniform and go to the fields without eating anything.
The disabled boy walked slowly down to the fields as he could not walk quickly. My father started to shout at the boy telling him to run yet he knows that he cannot run because of his feet but our father followed him and whipped him. I ran to them to fight for my brother and that is when I got whipped too. Tlebere beat the little boy to such an extent that he was hospitalised for two weeks; but as for me, I treated myself at home.
After those two weeks, I went to Keke’s school to tell them why he could not come for that period and that is when I found that my brother’s school fees had not been paid for that quarter. Yet I gave my father that money to pay the school fees as he had volunteered to do so. I returned from the school with a broken heart because I knew how hard I had to work so that he could go to school. I asked my father about the money and he just ignored me as if I was not talking to him. The next day, there was nothing to eat because he refused to sell the other seeds although he had kept plenty of them.
I tried to find a job just to keep my little brother satisfied and to have something every day. I tried to apply for the positions that appeared in the newspapers, but my father burnt my certificates saying that I am a child of democracy and want to fight him in his own house and act as if I am his wife but I do not provide him with his needs as a husband. Then I asked him if I was his child or not and he slapped me instead of answering. I asked him for the reason that he burnt my certificates. He said that I wanted to get married and go and be a bread winner for other people and forget about him so he had to do something to make me stay with him.
My father does not want to see me happy because he always takes my money and blames my innocent brother and beats him up. I can no longer qualify for any job because it is so difficult to explain my father’s personality and he is so heartless. Tlebere no longer gives that love he used to give when my mother was still alive. He even calls me names, telling me that I cannot get married because I am not working and have brought poverty into his house. I rented a house for my brother and me to give him space but he is still after my property.
This story is part of the “I” Stories series produced by the Gender Links encouraging the view that speaking out can set you free.
📝Read the emotional article by @nokwe_mnomiya, with a personal plea: 🇿🇦Breaking the cycle of violence!https://t.co/6kPcu2Whwm pic.twitter.com/d60tsBqJwx
— Gender Links (@GenderLinks) December 17, 2024
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