Botswana: Shout and let it out!

Kgatleng, 25 November: My new years’ resolution was to start studying, but my dreams were dashed one tragic day. I was waiting at the bus stop to go to the village, but it took so long to come and I was getting impatient. I got into a car that was waiting at nearby. There was a passenger sitting in the back. He was a middle-aged man with an innocent face and cheerful nature. The driver of the car drove us through the traffic but then passed the turn he was supposed to take. He drove onto a deserted gravel road, so I asked him where we were going. The man on the back seat told me to keep quiet.

I continued to ask where we were going, he responded by hitting me hard across my face. I tried to get out of the moving car but he caught me and took a knife out his pocket. He put a cloth over my eyes. I suddenly felt blood coming out of my back. I tried to scream but the man held me so tightly that I couldn’t do anything.

Suddenly the car stopped and it was very quiet. I heard the car door open and the driver pushed me out onto the ground. My phone rang from my handbag. It was my grandmother checking on me. He answered it and she asked him where I was. He answered and said that I just left to go to a shop. He hung up and switched my cell phone off. He removed the cloth from my face. I was in a dirty house full of spider webs.

His friend waited outside, while he locked us in the house. The windows were reinforced so I couldn’t escape. I was so scared. He started touching me. I pushed him away but he took out his knife and pushed me down on a dirty, smelly mat. I asked him to use protection because I knew he wanted to rape me. It was very painful and I was bleeding. Afterwards, he left and locked me in the house.

I tried to find something to break the door but it was solidly locked. I cried all night until I lost hope, thinking that I was going to die. The following day I heard the car parking outside. It was him again. I was shivering. He came inside and sat down on the dirty floor. With the knife in his hand, he ordered me to strip for him but I told him I didn’t know how to do such a thing. He got angry and raped me again. My cries were bitter.

Again, he left the house. It was getting dark and I needed water. I just wanted to bath. Suddenly the car came back. The man opened the door, put the cloth over my eyes and pushed me into the car. After a long drive, they stopped. The other man opened the door, shoved me out and then they drove off.

I stood there in the dark, my clothes tattered. Luckily, a bus arrived. I got on and sat alone. The other passengers were staring at me. When I got to my village I went straight home, but I found no one there. I went to my aunt’s house, she opened the door and found me crying. She comforted me while I told her everything.

We went to the police but they just made it worse by asking me so many uncomfortable, horrible questions. I hated them all so much. They took me to the hospital, and fortunately, I was not infected with any disease. I got some stitches for the stab wound, but I felt my future was ruined.

I was referred to our community social worker for counselling. My family was there for me and my friends supported me too. I still can’t believe I survived that ordeal. I just wish that those men would get arrested. They don’t deserve to live.

I encourage all women to speak out about any violence or abuse they are experiencing. Just shout and let it out!

*Not her real name

Valerie lives in Kgatleng, Botswana. This story is part of the “I” Stories series produced by the Gender Links News Service as part of the 16 Days of Activism campaign against gender violence, encouraging the view that speaking out can set you free.