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Kgatleng, 28 November: I am a 48-year-old woman, married to a 70-year-old man. We got married in 1996, but things took a turn for the worst soon after we married and moved to my mother-in-law’s house.
I already had two children when I married my husband. He started sexually harassing my daughter, but she never told me. Later, my sister came to stay with us and she told me that my husband sexually harassed her after locking her and my daughter in his room. I asked my husband about this, but he denied everything. He also started assaulting my children when I was not around, claiming that they misbehaved.
I decided to tell my in-laws about the sexual harassment, but they told me I would bring shame to their family and that a woman is supposed to keep quiet about such things.
My husband kicked my children out of our home. After they left he started physically and verbally abusing me day in and day out. It was worse when he was drunk. I reported the matter to the police but later withdrew the case. I also reported the matter to the District Commissioner’s office. They offered me advice but when I got home he would beat me like you would beat a dog, saying that he has paid lobola for me.
In December 2007 he abused me so severely that he broke my arm. I was hospitalised for some time, and after I was discharged I ran away. When I got better I went to a clinic to seek assistance, and I filed for divorce. In 2008, we got divorced.
We had a nice home and I did not want to leave. We were married in community of property so we had to share it, but he hid the cattle. I didn’t care all I wanted was peace of mind. He even asked for his lobola back But that didn’t work.
Now I am home and enjoying life, but I hate men and still need a lot of counselling. My children are benefiting from a government grant and we are marching on. Women out there must not give up and must be brave!
*Not her real name
Bointle lives in Botswana. This story is part of the “I” Stories series produced by the Gender Links News Service as part of the 16 Days of Activism campaign against gender violence, encouraging the view that speaking out can set you free.
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