Business brings my family back together!


Date: July 12, 2019
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It was 7 January 2014 when my husband got a car accident in his work place and passed on. We had three children with him, one being a girl and two boys. Two were at tertiary and the youngest doing form 4 at the time.

Trouble started when I was accused of killing my husband. I was left alone to bury my husband by the in-laws as they could not even come to my house to mourn with me and the kids. Only my church, community and my parental family were on my side.

This had an effect on me emotionally and financially because I had no clue on what to do. My parental family helped me with the funeral arrangements and finally my husband was laid to rest. My in-laws disowned the children and I, leaving us alone. One of the kids was at University in South Africa and I had to pay tertiary expenses. The last born was at in high school and the elder Son had got a government scholarship.

I struggled financially such that sometimes there was no food to put on the table. As if that we were starving was not enough, one day one woman lodged a complaint with the Masters Office, that my husband was owing her some money. My husband had left us with properties. We had to start selling them one by one. We sold the house we were staying in and moved into a government house. I cried bitterly because all my life I had never stayed in a government house as I had a home which I lost due to financial struggles. Life was still the same, my in-laws still never talked to me. My pastor tried several times to arrange meetings with them so we can talk but they never showed up. After several tries to amend things with them which was all in vain I realized life has to go on without them.

My turning point was when I joined the Gender Links entrepreneurship programme where we were taught how to deal with abuse, and for me it was emotional abuse and financial struggles. Through the healing through writing GL plartform (Istories) I managed to just let go my bitter emotions and told myself I really can’t force things between my in-laws and I. Self-love helped me heal faster.

For my financial struggles I learnt about how to make and run my own business at the trainings. From there I managed to start selling second hand clothes. I was then able to pay my children’s tertiary fees, put food on the table for them.

I got a turnaround in my life, and one Sunday while at church my in-laws filled the house joining the service which was really a surprise. While wondering what they were up to, they apologized to the church and my family for what they did during the passing of my husband and their weird actions thereafter.

From that day I got closure and my emotional healing was completed. We are now one happy family after they realized I was now doing well for myself and now show me respect.

My first born Son graduated and he is now an Engineer at a good company, my second born daughter is a Laboratory technician and my lastborn Son is doing his last year in Agri-Business & Economics.

My bigger thanks go to Gender Links for empowering me through the trainings. I strongly believe I am what I am today because of the knowledge and skills I acquired from these trainings. My community now look at me in a different way, as a mentor and business woman.