Elizabeth’s Story from Safe Haven Halfway Home Mauritius

Not giving up in the face of addiction and violence

“Now, I refuse to be subjected to violence, and I teach the same principle to my children.”

My name is Elizabeth and I am 24 years old and I have four children. I came to Safe Haven Halfway Home (SHHH) in November 2021 after being violently beaten by my husband.

I have both good and bad memories of my childhood. My father especially was a wonderful father, despite being an alcoholic. He would always buy gifts for me and my siblings for Christmas. I am the eldest of three siblings; I have a younger sister and brother. I fondly remember that he bought me and my sister a Barbie doll once for Christmas and I was extremely happy. When I passed my PSAC (Primary School Achievement Certificate) exams brilliantly, I recall that my father bought us all to eat out for the very first time at McDonalds.

I have always been a curious child, very keen on exploring the world around me. People would often find me daydreaming, lost in my thoughts. I also enjoyed learning. When I see a house, I often envision my own home in the future! When I am not daydreaming, I find myself on the move, doing one thing or another. Even while I was in college, I could not sit for long hours to study but yet I passed my exams with flying colours.

My father was very often violent and my mother has been a survivor of domestic violence. I still have vivid memories of violence at home. Nonetheless, one day I stood up to my father as he was about to hit my mother. I came just in between the two of them and since that day, my father stopped drinking. My mother though began to drink heavily and smoke, amidst all the instances of violence. My mother divorced my father three years ago.

My life changed when I found out I was pregnant at the age of 16. I could not complete my O’ Level examinations. I was stressed out and very panicked. I got married at the age of 17, although my father was very upset with me. He did not speak to me until the birth of my first son. It still hurts me till date and I feel guilty that I could not stand up to the expectations of my father. My father told me that he had visualised my life otherwise – he wanted me to complete my studies, obtain a good job and be well-settled before getting married and having children. Although my first pregnancy was unplanned, I felt happy and extremely attached to my son.

My husband had told me that he would allow me to work after marriage but soon after, I realized he lied to me. He did not allow me to continue my studies nor take up a job during the course of our married life. Following my first pregnancy and childbirth, I also did not feel like leaving my child alone at home and nursery fees were high; hence I stayed at home.

I have been lucky that I was able to have open conversations with my husband despite the challenges in our married life. My husband started to take drugs around one year after our marriage. When I started to doubt him, I did my research, enquired and was able to confront him on his drug usage. When my husband’s father and thereafter mother died, he found himself in an abyss of despair, and all alone. He could not process the death of his parents and resorted to drugs. This was often his response when I would ask him the reason as to why he started to take drugs. Soon enough, he became addicted to drugs and would often take most of the money and my belongings to exchange for drugs. When he was sober, he started to get irritable and violent. But as soon as he took drugs, he became calm and ironically, was a wonderful husband and father to our sons.

A turning point in my life occurred when I confronted my husband and accused him of having stolen my mother’s purse in front of all his friends on the street. When I went back inside to feed my son, my husband barged in behind me. He started beating me violently and no one could stop him. He was under the influence of drugs and had lost all notion of self-control. Within a few minutes, I realized that he could kill me. Thus, I tried to defend myself with all my might before the police intervened and took my husband away. From that incident, I started searching for shelters on the internet and fortunately came across Safe Haven and contacted the manager who confirmed that I could join the shelter with my children. It was such a relief.

Now, I refuse to be subjected to violence, and I teach the same principle to my children. I teach my four boys to always be respectful towards themselves and others, especially when they will grow up and settle down. I want them to know that whatever obstacle comes their way, they are strong enough to leap forward to overcome them. I have certainly grown a lot from my past experiences. These have made me more confident and self-aware.

I am proactive by nature. My father has always catered for my needs but at some point, I realized that this was hampering me from growing up and becoming independent, especially financially. It became habitual for me to simply head to my father’s place in case of any problem and he would buy me groceries and cater for all the bills. After giving birth in March 2022, I was determined to find a job and become independent.

In terms of my future plans, I would like to become a pastry chef as I love baking cakes. I would also like to have my own house for my children and me to live in. Ultimately, I would like to be financially independent.