I have been through it all.

Date: November 1, 2019
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My name is Mosima* I fell in love with a man hoping he is the one I will spend the rest of my life with. We have three beautiful children together one girl and two boys. My firstborn daughter, and second born son both grow well in a loving family.  My problems started with the third child, a boy. This is how the traumatic story of my life began.

One morning I had to attend a council meeting to give a report. I left my husband Malose* sleeping. I did not even take longer than 15 minutes, when I got back he was ready to leave for Johannesburg where he used to work. I was surprised because he did not tell me he would be leaving that morning. Only to realise after he had left that he was in a hurry because he had raped my 11 years old daughter. I was in such a shock; I took her to my uncle who assisted to take her to the hospital. The doctor confirmed that there was penetration. We opened a case and he was arrested from Johannesburg. He bribed the police and asked them to destroy the docket. I was stressed and I nearly committed suicide due to the stress.

I left him and got married a second husband still hoping to live a better life with my children and a new husband who would take care of us.  Soon after we started living together he started beating and abusing my children. My children ran away. He started abusing me financially, sexually and verbally. My in-laws did nothing to help me saying I do not have a place to go because I do not have parents.

He sold all my cattle and cars without my permission or consent. I was then forced to find a job, I worked and volunteered as a care worker and was given stipend which he also demanded. He would lock the house so that I was not able to go to work. I reported him to the social workers and they advised me to go back home. My family refused saying “Lebitla la mosadi ke bogadi” meaning I could not come back home I should die at my in laws. I had no one to confide to.

He would take the car keys trying to stop me from going to work. His cousin would sometimes intervene when I screamed and he would give the car keys back. I would have to speed up the car trying to run away from him but he would run after me throwing stones and spades at the car trying to hurt me.  My brother had given me a car to use for work so that I do not walk long distance to work, as he was aware of my problems.

My husband never cared about me walking long distance to work, he used his car do drive his girlfriends around and he would say he does not have petrol when I needed him to transport me.  I eventually went back home, I now have my own business. Experiencing no abuse and  living with my children happily with no monsters in our lives.