I’m doing well and surviving

I was working for a warehouse in Isipingo in the south of Durban in 2001.  We had to do shift work and sometimes we would finish late.  Usually we would have our own transport taking us there and back.  One day I had to go to a friend of mine to collect some money for my mother.  I left my friend’s place in the early evening between 19h30 and 20h00. She wanted to walk with me and I told her not to bother it was still early. 

 

I know Wentworth. I have lived in this place all my whole life.  I decided to take a short cut because I was in a hurry to get home and get ready for the next day. I went along a pathway in the area and nothing struck me because it was a routine to walk on that path. Many people were using it. 

 

As I was walking I suddenly felt somebody grab me by the back of my collar.  I fell hard on top of a big stone and dislocated my hip immediately.  When I looked up two of the three guys were taking all my jewelry. It happened so fast: my rings, watch and earrings were gone. 

 

When I looked again the third guy was holding a knife to me because I was screaming. The two guys ran off with the jewelry and the money I had collected for my mother, the R260. I still remember I had a lemon top which I got as a gift.  The third guy ripped it apart and dragged me into the bush and raped me.

I was trying to feel and imagine the situation.  I know that I am a strong and a smart woman. I figured that this person was not drunk because if he was I would have wrestled with him.  But because he had so much power, I decided he was on drugs.  The other two called him and said: "Come on ekse, we got what we wanted, leave her!" He said: "No she’s going to point us out, let’s finish her off!"

I have never prayed so hard in my entire life.  I prayed that what happened to my daughter must not happen to me too.  History cannot repeat itself, so I said to him: “You have already taken what you wanted, why don’t you leave me alone,
leave me, just leave me.” He walked away with the knife still opened, walked away a little distance then he stood for a while and turned and came back. 

 

This time I really thought he was coming to finish me off.  In that time I prayed to God to save me, I didn’t want to die because I have a grandson to raise, there’s nobody else for my grandson.

 

He stood a little while and after that he ran.   I managed to get up. I could only walk on one leg but I managed to drag myself to the main road. I was hysterical and felt I was losing my mind. That was the worst day of my life.  A car stopped. The owner realised what had happened, and he took me to the hospital. 

 

Before being raped I hadn’t had a partner since my divorce in 1996.  I just had a HIV test done and it came back negative. So I told myself there’s no way you can be raped once and get it and I said I’m not going to bother going back and I didn’t bother.

Last year in January something just told me: "Hey Mickey just go and test yourself."  I had a boyfriend who wanted to get married so we both went for tests. His was negative and I was positive. What do I do, where do I start, where do I go?

 

I went back to that horrible day.  I’ have since broken up with the man I truly loved.  After that I decided that this is life, I’ll take it from there.  My strength has grown since then and I’m thankful to God that he gave another chance in life.  He has kept me here for a reason, and for my grandson. 

 

I’m doing well and surviving.

 

*not her real name