Lesotho: I lost my womb because of a ruthless man

My name is Susan and I reside at Thaba-Tseka. I am double orphan and I was living with my grandparents from my father’s side. They took really good care of me and there was never a time when I would wish that my parents were around. I was granny’s little girl, but I would still miss my parents.
One day I was sent to another village and it was very far from where I lived and when I was on the way I met a man and he told me he was going to the same place as I was going and we went together. We talked about everything and he seemed a very respectful man and he told me about his children.
We got to a place called Likhoele and apparently it was his place. He actually lied to me about every thing he told me. We had to pass his place before I could get to where I was going and he convinced me to go past a nearby house claiming it was his uncle’s and we would just greet them and go on with our journey. When we got there, there was nobody there and he pretended that he was talking to somebody on the phone and when he was done he told me that he was talking to his uncle and he was not around, but he could open the house and have some food. As I was tired and hungry, I was relieved and I thought I was going to renew my energy.
He asked me to come inside and and he prepared some food for us, but for a moment I was suspicious because he knew where everything was, like the owner of the house, but I dismissed that and I thought that maybe he visited his uncle many times hence he knew where all his stuff was. In fact I was right, it was actually his place. When we were finished eating, I reminded him that we still had a long journey ahead, so we should get going, but he changed the subject immediately and I wondered why he was doing that, especially as the time was moving on.
I asked him if I should leave him because he seemed not to want to go anymore and I told him I had to go because I had to return back home, but he changed and told me that I was not going anywhere and he locked the door. I asked him what he was doing and why he was saying that I was not going. He opened the blankets on the bed and took out a gun. When I saw this, I cried. He told me that I should not cry, because he was just going to do what he believed I knew. He pointed the gun at me and told me that he would only release me after he had made sure that he had made me pregnant. I did not understand what he was saying, how could he give me a baby when he did not even know me? He took off all my clothes while still pointing the gun at me. He put me on the floor and slept with me, it was very painful and I was still a virgin, I had never slept with men. He was very rude and told me that I should make sure that I conceived. It was very painful and I did not know anything about sex. I asked myself how I would know that I was pregnant because he kept on saying that I should made sure that I conceived. When he heard that I was making a lot of noise he put a cloth inside my mouth so that people could not hear me.
I think he did that about for one hour without stopping and when he was done he asked me what I wanted him to do with me. I did not know how to answer that one; I was shaking and praying that he should not kill me. He punched me in my face with his gun and he forced his whole hands into my vagina and it was really painful. He told me that he wanted to take out my womb. I just could not believe him, I begged for his forgiveness, but he did not listen. I think I fainted when he actually removed my womb because I only remember when he told me that he was going to remove it. I woke up in hospital after some time and they told me how I got to the hospital. They said that after removing my womb, he threw me somewhere in the bushes and that was where I was found. I don’t have a womb now because of that ruthless man.
This story is part of the “I” Stories series produced by the Gender Links encouraging the view that speaking out can set you free.