Lesotho: My own father tried to rape me

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I am a very young girl and I live with my father. My father has been so good to me since I was a little child and I would tell him everything, he was so close to me and I loved him very much. I am going to tell a story about my father, it is not a very long story and it happened once and recently, I still do not believe that my own father tried to do that to me.

My father did not give any sign that he would go that far, but last week he came home very drunk and told me that he wanted to sleep with me; I was very afraid, I could not believe that my own father had just said that to his own daughter. I refused and I told him that I could not do that and how could he ask me, but he continued to say that and he said he was begging me, my goodness I could not believe him and I still do not believe it even now. I am still afraid and shaking when I think about that incident.

There was a moment when I thought maybe it was not really my father, but it was him and he was very serious; he really wanted to sleep with me. I told him that there was no way that I would sleep with him and he asked why there was no way that I would. He said if it was a boy I would agree and sleep with him. I told him I could not sleep with him in any way and he became very angry and took all my clothes and threw them out and told me that he did not want to see me. I asked him where I should go, but he told me that he did not care; he did not want to see me.

I was crying and very heartbroken, I asked myself so many questions; I just could not believe him at all, but he was very serious and so I went to my grandmother’s place and told her everything. She was shocked and also could not believe it. We agreed that I should go to the chief and report the matter, but our chief told me that he would only see me the following day, but he did not and we also told our councillor, but even today as I am writing this, nothing has been done to my father. We have not reported the matter to the police.

*Not her real name

This story is part of the “I” Stories series produced by the Gender Links News Service encouraging the view that speaking out can set you free.