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My name is Judith, from Lekokoaneng. I am writing about how I was abused by my husband, whom I lived with since 2002 until now when I am writing about my life with him. In the year 2002 I fell pregnant, and by the time I told my husband he denied being the father of my baby. I told both our parents who then called us to a meeting to reconcile us and find out who the father of my baby is.
My husband never listened to our parents instead he told them that he would wait for the baby to be born before he agreed to anything that they want him to listen to. The time came when the child was born, it was a boy and he looked like his father. When my husband saw the child he was happy and I went back to our house. Our little boy grew and we were still happy until 2007 when my husband started beating me like a dog. I was beaten as though I was dirty and lived outside.
My husband was very wicked, he beat me so much. There was no day that I would go without being beaten, I became fed up with the beatings, I summoned his parents to tell them about the life I had in my husband’s house. Once they left he beat me up and said that he has never seen a stupid woman like me, how could I bring other people into our family to disturb our way of living, he called what he was doing to me a way of living. He told me that he was going to beat the stupidity out of me.
A week later he was still beating me up, for the food I cooked or if he saw a single pair of trousers that was dirty, any small thing, he would beat me very hard. I called his parents once again and they told me that I should leave him because he did not appreciate what he had. I went to the chief who gave me a letter to go to the police station, I asked the police where to go and they sent me to the office where I gave the letter from the chief.
My husband was then summoned to the police station where he was disciplined. He acted as though he had done nothing once again. In 2008, when I told him that there was a ceremony at my parents’ house, he told me that I was lying and I was going to see all those boyfriends of mine. He called me names and said I was a prostitute. He then beat me so that I could not walk well. After he was done I picked up my things and went to my mother who took me to the doctor and took action on the issue of my husband turning me into a doormat.
I went back to the police and they wanted to see him. I was still hurt and being taken care of at the hospital. I was in pain. When I got home from hospital I found that he had abused my son and told him that I had gone to see my boy friends again and he had beaten my baby. He was arrested for about a month and two weeks. When he was released from prison he became a person for some time.
In the year 2010, my husband started to abuse me, when I told him that the kids needed clothes he would say that I should go to their father to buy them as he did not make any kids with me. I then heard that there were women who were going to work for a man on his farm so I decided to go with them when my husband told me that I had started my bad behaviour. He beat me with a stone on my head and I did not go to work. I reported him again to the police who arrested him for three months. When he was released he became a person who knew that I was his wife. We lived happily until now.
This story is part of the “I” Stories series produced by the Gender Links encouraging the view that speaking out can set you free.
📝Read the emotional article by @nokwe_mnomiya, with a personal plea: 🇿🇦Breaking the cycle of violence!https://t.co/6kPcu2Whwm pic.twitter.com/d60tsBqJwx
— Gender Links (@GenderLinks) December 17, 2024
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