South Africa: God fearing parents

I am the eldest of three children that were raised by a God-fearing single parent. My entire childhood I felt that I was both coming and going. I exceled at school yet I had a strong longing for a relationship with my father. Once upon a time I was his flower (apple of his eye) and in a blink of an eye I felt worthless.

But the grace and help of God kept me and carried me through. I felt like nothing could fill the hole in my life. Rejected, cast aside were the feelings and emotions that I experienced.

I matriculated and took a gap year. During that year I began to feel less and began to walk in victory.

One day I showered at my aunt’s house and her husband entered the shower. He touched me and at that moment I did not know what to do. I ran out of the bathroom and locked the bedroom. I dressed quickly and left the house. I didn’t know where I found myself and went to my cousin and told him what happened.

I grew up with this hurt and I never wanted to be with people until my mother found out what happened. Like I knew my mother, she shouted. She was angry that I didn’t tell her what happened to me and I asked her not to tell my father about what happened.

I went to study and completed a diploma in social work. After many years of studies my told me that she told my father what happened and that all he said was that he could not do anything about it. This broke my heart. God was always there, He always carried me through.

I work at the Mossel Bay Municipality and got involved with Gender Links last year (2014). I started with Phase one that dealt with entrepreneurship and business plans and initially I thought that the training would not benefit me. I felt compelled to enjoy it until people started opening up and many women shared their personal stories and I was amazed when I heard what they made through and why they were actually there (at the training).

Personally I thought Gender Links was about broken people who arose out of the ashes and with the help of God empowered themselves and they arise and make something of themselves.

I have attended all three phases and for me the second phase stood out because everyone was more comfortable with each other. It was during this phase that I learnt that it is ‘okay’ to share about yourself with others and although I felt that I did not go through many harsh things like many of the other women, there were at least people (daughters) that went through similar things and carried similar burdens.