South Africa: He wanted to kill me and my children

South Africa: He wanted to kill me and my children

Date: December 9, 2014
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*Trigger warning: Violence*
My name is *Ntombi Ndlovu, I grew up living with my mom and dad in a polygamous marriage. The first wife had her own homestead and children with my dad. I had 3 half-sisters and 2 half-brothers. My father used to drink a lot of alcohol. He didn’t provide for us rather he used to spend all his money with the senior wife. We used to struggle at home without food to eat; we would get help from the neighbours.

I had three blood siblings, but all of them passed away and I’m the only one that is still alive. I was about 7 years, in 1987 when we were involved a car accident while coming from a ceremony hosted by the first wife. As a result of this accident my mother had a miscarriage. She remained in hospital, and then my aunt *Thembeka came from Durban to help out. She stayed with us till my mother passed on in December 1988. My aunty took me to live with her in Durban.

In Durban we lived as a large family with my aunt, grandmother and other children. During this time I fell pregnant with my first child in 1997, and my aunt chased me away from home. I went to live in Pietermartzburg with my other aunt. I gave birth to my son, after that I went back to school. After matric I then received a pay-out from my deceased father’s estate. I received R 14-000.00 that was shared between me and my siblings. With my share I bought a small homestead for myself. In 2001, I then met *Vusumuzi, the man who would be the father of my children. We lived together and all was fine. I got some jobs as a tea assistant and other piece jobs. He was unemployed; he would attend street housing committee meetings. When registration of the house happened, he took his ID and my plot site number and put it in his surname. I didn’t know about this until later, when I decided to sell the place I realised he had changed the information and my title deeds. He said I was over reacting and that as the man the house was meant to be in his name.

We continued living together and had children together. During this time he started having extra marital affairs, he slept with the women in the house. He also started abusing me and hitting me, he became very abusive towards me. He sold the house without informing me in 2009. My third child died. I kept staying with him and I fell pregnant again although he wasn’t changing. Again he sold the new place we were staying and bought a car without telling me. He was not working but was always making money, selling things that belonged to me. The abuse continued, he was cruel and abusive and used to swear at us all the time. One day he came to ask me to come back to stay with him, I agreed we stayed with his other children from another woman. The kids would complain about all the things in the house. One day he got upset and pointed a gun at us threatening to kill us. We called the police who came and arrested him for keeping unlicensed arm. He was taken to the police, but when he got released, he would swear at us saying he was tired of us. He threatened to kill me and the children

I got afraid decided to ask for help from the social workers. The social worker recommended that I go with my children to stay at a shelter. He still does not know where I am located with my children. My children and I are safe now. I am happy to be far away from this abusive relationship and this cruel man who wanted to kill us.


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