South Africa: His mother helped him abuse me

South Africa: His mother helped him abuse me

Date: December 9, 2014
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*Triger warning: Violence*
My name is *Thembi. I never knew my parents. I grew up in S.O.S children village in PMB. We were staying there with my brother. Because of my low mentality I could not be send to a normal school. I was sent to a special school. One day I was going to the shop to buy ice block since it was hot that day when a man I use to see in the shop approached me. We then we fell in love. I used to go to the shop so that I can see him. I loved him but I did not want to have sex with him and I told him that. One day he saw me going to the shop and he called me and then I told him no I am rushing. He then started to follow me and he took me to his house and he told me he want sex with me and I said no. He forced himself on me, took my clothes off and he raped me.

I kept it a secret at the home, I was afraid to tell them. They notice that I was not getting my periods and they did a pregnancy test and it was positive. They asked me who the father of the baby was and I told them that I was raped. They then reported to the police and started to look for the man but could not find him. I was moved to a shelter when I was about to give birth. I gave birth and the man was nowhere to be seen still. The social workers put me in another family *Vundla’s family, Inhlazatshe (KZN). The mother of this house had a son who is physically challenged, I knew him as we went to school together, I think that how the social workers knew her. When I arrived at the Vundla’s family, Mrs Vundla then told me that I had come there to be a wife to their son. My baby was 2 months old and she proposed that she will sleep with the baby while I sleep with her son. She also told her son that I was his wife now, and he must make me fall pregnant.

At night Mrs Vundla would take the child to sleep with her and send me to his son’s room and her son will tell me that I know we need to have sex. Since I was afraid of his mom I would let him do it. When the social workers visited me the first time I was afraid to tell them what exactly was happening. I was also afraid to tell Mrs Vundla, that I didn’t love her son and I didn’t want to sleep with him. However she had threatened to chase me away from her home. I once told her son that I didn’t want to sleep with him and he told his mother and it was a problem.

I then told the social workers when they visited me for a second time. At that time I was tired of the abuse from both the mother and the son. The social workers used to bring me things, clothing and money for the child but she will take my money and use it without giving me anything.
The social workers then moved me to a shelter at the Haven, I have stayed for about 2 years because of my mentality. They have helped me to apply for a disability grant and now I have applied for placement at mental health society. I am happy but also scared because if I get placement then my child will be put in foster care. I thank God for everything now I am a born again Christian, I know God will help me, I like staying at the shelter, it has taken my mind off things, it actually feels like home. I also would like to thank Gender links for this opportunity, I did not know that I can do this without crying but I did.


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