Support through trauma

My name is Lorain Sebe*, I’m 45 years old. In 2011 I was raped. It was a Friday afternoon around 3pm. I was coming from a shebeen and had drunk some alcohol, in fact I was drunk. We were using a chain to lock my house. When I got home and tried to lock the door, I dropped the chain. I thought my husband would come home soon because it was getting late and he would lock it, so I left the house unlocked.

I went to bed and fell asleep quickly because it was hot. I didn’t realise that a guy who saw me leaving the shebeen followed me home. While I was sleeping and when it was dark he entered my house. He didn’t even switch on the light, he got into the bed with me and pretended to be my husband.

The alcohol had totally gone to my head and the heat made it worse. The guy started to speak in Shona (instead of Venda) because he wanted me to think that he was my husband who speaks Shona. He then had sex with me.

My husband came back home and saw the guy getting out of the bed. He had switched on the light, I then saw the man running away, pulling his trousers up. He left his shoes next to the bed. When I looked down from the bed I saw three used condoms lying there. My husband started chasing the guy and carrying his shoes in his hand.

My husband took the shoes to the wife of the man he had been chasing and explained what had happened. I called the police and when they arrived they started asking questions and I opened a rape case. They arrested the guy at Hasane village where he had been hiding. I went to the Tshilidzini Trauma Centre.

The case didn’t progress because my Shona husband and I were insulted by a Shangaan police officer from Sibasa. They told us there was no case because my husband didn’t come with a wife from Zimbabwe and that they don’t deal with things that happen at the shebeens. So the case ended. Even though I have since seen the man who raped me, I am not interested in talking to him.

The person who has really helped to support me is Demana, a Victim Advocate from Thohoyandou Victim Empowerment Programme (TVEP). She works at the trauma centre and sometimes she gives me money to buy food at Shoprite, and she also calls to check on me.

Now, I have quit drinking alcohol. I now go to Kingdom Life Church Tshifulanani with Pastor Muligwe. I’m feel as though I am living a very good life. The other thing is that I’m very thankful to my husband who didn’t leave me after the rape.

One thing that has really changed after the incident is that I was always scared that maybe my husband would leave me one day. But my heart was relieved when he supported me through what happened. We are still staying together, and this has helped me.

*Not her real name.

*Lorain Sebe lives in the Limpopo Province of South Africa. This story is part of the “I” Stories series produced by the Gender Links Opinion and Commentary Service for the Sixteen Days of Activism on Gender Violence.