Swaziland: The people you’d take a bullet for are squeezing the trigger

Piggs Peak, 5 December: My parents treated me like a princess. But little did I know that as soon as they were taken away from me I would be a house keeper in my very own house. Both my parents died in a car accident just after I completed my form 5.

After the death of my parents my uncle came with his wife and kids to live in my parents’ house, it took only few weeks for them to kick me out of my bedroom and I had to sleep in the sitting room.

Then I became their maid. I had to wake up early before every one, prepare breakfast for the family and iron their clothes. Then I would have to start cleaning and cooking. My uncle’s wife was not working, so all she did was to watch TV and scream orders at me. If I delayed she would call me names.

Whenever I was alone with my uncle would pretend that he loved and cared for me. One day we were alone, I was in the kitchen and he was in the bedroom. He called me and told me that he could see I was unhappy. He said his wife was just jealous of me because I was good at everything. Before I knew it he had locked the door and forced me down. I tried to fight him but he was stronger than me. He raped me and I fell pregnant.

They chased me away saying that I was a disgrace for falling pregnant outside marriage so I must go and live with my boyfriend. I went to live with my grandmother. She wanted to go and report the pregnancy as per Swazi custom but she was shocked to death when she learned who the father was.

After delivering I could not love my baby, it was even hard for me to tell people his surname. Each time I looked at his face all I remembered was his father forcing himself on me. He went to live with my aunt. The following year I applied for my tertiary education and I was accepted in one of the colleges.

I am still trying to put my past behind me but it is hard because I was betrayed by my own relative. He took everything from me including my virginity. While all this was happening the rest of the family pretended as though everything was fine. But now that I am about to get married they claim me as their child just to get paid dowry. I will not allow my future husband to give them anything. They have taken enough already.
*Not her real name

Trudy lives in Swaziland. This story is part of the “I” Stories series produced by the Gender Links News Service as part of the 16 Days of Activism campaign against gender violence, encouraging the view that speaking out can set you free.