Why I chose to follow in my mother?s footsteps

Date: July 6, 2012

My name is Mpho Thamae and I am a community health worker. I always dreamed of having my own my own hair salon. I did not plan on being a community health worker and it has not been easy for me. But I decided to take this course because of what my mother has lived through.

One day my mother told me that she had been diagnosed as HIV positive. She told me the whole story: how she had been raped. The world was falling on top of me. I am her only daughter. I thought of death, thinking she was going to die and leave me alone. I asked why this was happening to her and how my daughter and I were going to do survive without her.

At that time I was working as a stylist a hair salon. Everyday when I arrived home I found everyone happy with no stress at all. Instead they had new information, were planning a future and were strong. I wanted to know what kept her happy. I was told that she was attending a support group at Aids Link.

I found that the person I was most worried about (my daughter) had organised young children to do dramas, poems and dancing. She was teaching people about HIV/AIDS and abuse. I asked myself why I was worried about my mother, she was fine. I started to accept that my mother is not just HIV positive: she is positive!

The bond between my daughter and my mother became stronger. I became supportive too. One day my mother said they will need youth to run education programmes at school about HIV/AIDS. She was surprised when I told her that I would join them in the education campaign.

My mother was proud of me because I gave her all the support I could. When some people discriminated against her I told her that I loved her more than anything in this world. She became stronger. We managed to face the discrimination as a family with the support of other community members.

I trained as a basic HIV/AIDS counselor at the Family and Marriage Association of South Africa (FAMSA). We continue to educate schools about HIV/AIDS, women and child abuse. I was promoted to Women and Child Abuse Co-ordinator at the CBO called Let Us Grow started by my mother. I assist school children and women in the community by referring them to the right resources. I also run education workshops at local churches and I do counseling.

After we started a support group, many women responded. We teach them the different skills to equip themselves, solving their problems, making them deal with their problems and to go on with their lives and doing home visits.

I went for training on basic counseling; home based care; HIV/AIDS; first aid and self esteem. The Department of Health called me to come and train and as a trainer of volunteers of Orange Farm for World Aids Day. In 2003 and 2004 the Department of Health nominated 3 people within the Let Us Grow to train for 69 days. I was one of the three. Now, I am working as a Treatment Supporter at Ext 7a Clinic in Orange Farm.

After we started meetings with counselors from other organisations at Orange farm I was nominated as a facilitator for my group, and we went to the training as facilitators we call Umhlangano (meeting).

The work that I am doing gives me strength and keeps me helping more and more people in my community by supporting those who have been emotionally, spiritually and physically abused.

To listen to this story and other stories from survivors of gender violence, please visit the ‘I Story’ page.

(This story is part of the I Stories series produced by the Gender Links Opinion and Commentary Service for the Sixteen Days of Activism on Gender Violence).

Why I chose to follow in my mother?s footsteps

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