Zimbabwe: Born to a poor family and plunged into early marriage

My name is Calister Gava I am a 48 year old woman. I am the second born in a family of six. I grew up living in extreme poverty because my parents were not employed. My father was a witchdoctor and he was always not at home. He used to spend more than three months while not at home. The situation made life very difficult for us. 

My mother got tired of the situation and he separated with our father. Our grandmother took us in and started caring for us. Since the separation our father never returned home. The day came when we received a coffin containing the body of our father. The situation saddened us because we were expecting him to come back to his senses and take care of us but our wish never came to pass. My father died while I was in grade three. 

As young as we were, living without a parent was painful. Life was very tough because we started doing menial jobs at a very young age so that we survive. I remember when we used to work in the fields so that we buy soap to wash our clothes while others are at school. We were very intelligent but our situation condemned us to the world of the uneducated. This terrible situation made me to think that if I get married life will be better. 

I got married thinking that all my problems are going to end only to realise later that I made a terrible mistake. The situation was like jumping from frying pan into the fire. I was thinking that my husband is going to and care for me because I told him everything about my background. At first he showed concern and promised to love and cherish me. My husband was working in Bulawayo and I was staying at his rural home.  

My husband suddenly stopped caring for the family. He was occupying a managerial position at his workplace but he never brought any money home. Whenever I asked for the money to take care of the family he would tell me that I am not his mother and I must never ask him again.  

My mother in–law was fueling the economic abuse because she is the one who was being given money by my husband. I was being treated like a child in my own house. The situation pained me and thoughts of committing suicide were nagging me. My mother in-law never allowed me to go and stay with my husband. She declared that I must live at the rural home while the husband is working in town. 

The situation was exacerbated by the fact that I gave birth to a girl child. My husband said that the baby is not his. Her mother supported her and declared that in their family they give birth to male children alone. One day my mother-in-law showed me a picture of my husband’s girlfriend. She bragged about it and I was hurt. I made a decision to leave and I went back to my late parents’ home.  

I later remarried and my new husband took good care of me and my child. He is currently not working but we are living happily and I have plans to start a business so that I will upgrade my life.