Zimbabwe: Forced into a marriage that shattered my dreams

My name is Tafadzwa* I am a twenty three year old mother of two children. I am a Secondary School drop-out. When my parents knew that I had a boyfriend they sent me away from our home. They said that since I had a boyfriend I considered myself an adult thus had no place at their home. We were forced into marriage whilst we were both at school. I failed to make my own decision but had to comply with my parents’ directive. My in-laws supported us with everything that we needed as husband and wife because we were still a young and unemployed couple. After the birth of my second child my husband, Munyaradzi*, got enrolled as a soldier and was posted to Bulawayo.  

Munyaradzi* started being abusive by instructing me to stay in Honde Valley, Manicaland Province whilst he was staying more than seven hundred kilometres away. He did not support his family whether morally, financially or materially. If I ever I asked him for some money for domestic use he would blatantly tell me to look for employment if I needed any money. He added that one had to work in order to get money not to be a charity case.  

The time I told him that I was determined to job hunt he told me to forget about the issue for he was not comfortable with that idea. Munyaradzi* told me that it would portray him as having failed to look after his family within the community yet he was not supporting us. When I suggested that I visit him in Bulawayo, he became very furious. Munyaradzi* did not mince his words when he was insulting me. He told me that urban areas like Bulawayo were for the educated not school drop-outs like me. He bought clothes for himself only and nothing for me and the children saying that he was the one who was working hence he had to enjoy his sweat. He asked me the reason why I wanted nice clothes yet I was staying in the rural areas.  

I never enjoyed my marriage as I spent most of my time imagining where I went wrong with Munyaradzi*. I would realise tears rolling down my cheeks most of the times. By that time both my parents had died and had no one to tell my ordeal. Both my children had no birth certificates and were not attending school.  

I visited Munyaradzi* in Bulawayo with the intention of acquiring some birth certificates for our two children. He did not expect me to pay him such an unexpected visit. He beat me up for disobeying his standing orders for me not to ever set foot at his workplace without his knowledge. He then resorted to having his meals at restaurants and would come home drunk. Food that we found in the house ran out and he told us to look after ourselves since we had disobeyed him. I never knew how much he earned as a soldier and he never wanted me to have such a discussion with him. I started to ask for food hand-outs from neighbours lest we were going to starve. One day before he left for work, he just told me to pay the bills and feed the children then shut the door with a bang. Though he had instructed me to pay bills, he did not give me any money for that. 

I was advised by my neighbours to approach law enforcement agents for help and they directed me to Msasa Shelter. Munyaradzi* and I later managed to have our two children’s birth certificates after the involvement of Msasa Shelter authorities. I was also given some monthly money for our maintenance after the case was heard in a court of law. I started staying at Msasa Shelter. Munyaradzi* visited the Msasa Shelter a number of times with intention of taking the two children without success. Munyaradzi* later turned violent at the shelter but refrained after he was threatened with some law suits. He was issued with a directive of not to ever be violent at the shelter or with me.