Zimbabwe: How marriage derailed my hopes and aspirations


Date: October 10, 2019
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I am an old woman who got married in 1984. I gave birth to 5 children and four are surviving. I got married when I was still very young and my husband was also still very young. My husband is now a teacher by profession. We worked very hard together for him to accomplish his career objectives. We are lawfully married under Chapter 5:11 of the marriage act. 

My husband was working as a relief teacher because he was not having the teaching qualification. I worked very hard selling freezits for him to pursue his career. I was also responsible for bringing food on the table. I was supplying my husband with everything needed at the college so that he would complete his course successfully.  

When I married my husband he was jobless and he was living in abject poverty. My parents convinced me to marry him and told me that you will work together to better your lives. During the early days of our marriage we were surviving on food hand outs from my parents. Surely we worked hard and he attained a bachelor’s degree in education. 

The abuse started in 2008 when my husband started beating me. His behaviour changed for the worse because he was now having girlfriends. He stopped providing for the family and use his money elsewhere. He was buying expensive clothes for his girlfriends while I and the children were wallowing in poverty. I regret the time I wasted working very hard so that he would go to school.  

I bought a house while being assisted by my relatives. Unfortunately, the girlfriend who was now staying with my husband died and he came back to stay with us. Despite the fact that he was now staying with us he never contributed anything for the upkeep of the house.  

The situation prompted me to start a business. I started a poultry production business specializing in off layers.  I later on added new products like clothes and groceries. I managed to buy lounge suite, television set and a bed. My husband refused to accept that I am the one who bought the furniture. He physically assaulted accusing me of cheating on him. The situation did not deter me. I continued working hard and I bought a car. My husband then realised that I was really working hard and I was capable of raising enough money to buy the things that I bought. I also got a class four driver’s license so that I will be able to drive my own car. 

The development did not go down well with my husband. He packed his clothes and left. He is currently staying with another woman. I was left with a burden of taking care of children alone. He developed the habit of coming to my business place and humiliates me in front of my customers. The situation affected me and I fell ill and stayed in hospital for a long time. He never visited me at the hospital. He removed me as a beneficiary from his medical aid. The burden of hospital bills was on me.  

I recovered very well and I discharged from hospital. I continued working hard and my husband got jealousy. He accused me of cheating and he took my phone trying to get the evidence he was looking for. He broke my phone and took my sim card. I reported the matter to the police and he was instructed to buy a new phone. However, the incident pained me a lot because I lost my customers’ contacts. I applied for a protection order against him and it was granted in my favour. 

We are now living peacefully because the protection order restricts him from insulting, beating me or destroying my property. I will continue working hard until I reach my destination.