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Harare, 28 November : I got married to Thapiwe in 1992. We lived in a rural area and depended on farming for survival. I had two children from my previous marriage when Thapiwe married me. Two years later, we had our first child together.
He started drinking heavily and became very abusive. He would spend the whole night beating us and accusing me of allowing my daughter to bring boyfriends home.
The next morning I told his sister about his abusive behavior and she said there was nothing she could do about it. When my daughter was 14 years old, my husband raped her and fell pregnant. He also infected her with HIV. This broke my heart. She gave birth to her first child in 2008.
I told my relatives including the headman of the village. The headman told me to report this to the police because he said it was too big for him to handle. I went to report the case at a nearby police station. I also confided in my mother-in-law but instead of sympathising, she shouted at me, telling me that if her son was arrested she would make sure that I would be kicked out the homestead.
My husband was arrested but within a short space of time, he was released because he had paid the public prosecutor. I went back to the police but the policemen started mocking me and told me to go home and deal with my family issues.
This really offended me and caused me so much more pain, not only because I hoped to get justice but I also did not have anyone to confide in except for the police.
My daughters and I finally got help from a local women’s group, whom I am so grateful to for providing me with shelter and counselling. I am no longer afraid of coming out in the open and I won’t hesitate to let everyone know my story. I almost killed myself at one point but I thought of my kids. I have moved on now and I am much stronger.
*Not her real name
Ndau lives in Harare. This story is part of the “I” Stories series produced by the Gender Links News Service as part of the 16 Days of Activism campaign against gender violence, encouraging the view that speaking out can set you free.
📝Read the emotional article by @nokwe_mnomiya, with a personal plea: 🇿🇦Breaking the cycle of violence!https://t.co/6kPcu2Whwm pic.twitter.com/d60tsBqJwx
— Gender Links (@GenderLinks) December 17, 2024
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