Zimbabwe: Punished and neglected for failing to conceive

I am Mambano* who is a 48 year old married woman. I was born from a poor family. My educational period was faced by problems such as non payments of school fees. That led to being sent away from school on numerous occasions. I no longer had any interest in attending school and I was on everyone’s lips in my class. I eventually dropped out of school. 

My first marriage was in 1991 when I was 21 and it was not enjoyable at all. My first child died when he was only three months old. I later had two more miscarriages at the second and fifth months. My former husband and in laws did not take kindly to my misfortunes. When I had the second miscarriage, I was admitted for a lengthy period of time. My former husband was not sympathetic and visited me irregularly whilst I was in hospital. When I was discharged, I found that my former husband was no longer the person he used to be. He would not eat any meal that I would have prepared and he would sleep out on numerous occasions. He did not take kindly to being asked where he was because he would threaten to beat me to a pulp though he never laid his hands on me.  

One day he finally came home with another woman whom he introduced to me as his new wife. He truthfully told me that he was no longer interested in me being his wife. He summoned his parents and to my surprise my former mother-in-law ululated when he broke the news to them. She was hugged and urged to bear lots of children for the family. The comments from my former mother-in-law pierced through my heart. I cried out aloud but no-one seemed to take note of my presence. The atmosphere at my former husband’s homestead was then not conducive to live there and I packed then left for my mother’s place. 

I later remarried at the age of 39 and my husband cared and loved me. I then fell sick and was admitted at Chinhoyi General Hospital. The doctors diagnosed some complications in my uterus and advised me that it was for the best if they removed it. I was heartbroken but Mhofu*, my husband, comforted me. Mhofu* even mobilised the support of his relatives and they all stood with me during that difficult time. I was discharged and he would do some household chores whilst I recovered. Mhofu*’s sisters would also come and assist in doing other chores. 

Mhofu* was called to work at Marange Diamonds Mine. He promised to be a responsible and caring husband whilst he would be away. During the first few months he would call twice a day and send some money for my upkeep at the end of every fortnight. After a year he no longer called nor sent anything home. I tried getting in touch with him but he had changed his mobile telephone number. Rumours started filtering in that he had married another wife whom he worked with. I wanted to go and check for myself but his relatives discouraged me. I then thought of leaving for my mother’s place but again his relatives would have none of it. They supported me financially, materially and morally. 

Mhofu* finally called and apologised for the long quietness. He then sent me some money and asked me to start a business of my choice. He is now coming home at the end of every month and I also visit his workplace anytime. He even encourages me to attend church services and always remind me to pray for God to protect our marriage.