Zimbabwe: The open prison I live in

I have never enjoyed my marriage as my abusive and drunkard husband always want things done his way. He also spends any money that comes our way very recklessly. He neither buys food nor clothes for the family but always brags that he has lots of money to spend. At times I even come across some money in his jacket or trouser pockets when doing laundry. If I ever use the money for domestic use he would either humiliate me in public or vent his anger on our children. He even insults my parents for having raised a shameful and disrespectful daughter like me. He is in the habit of publicly insulting me.  

Some months ago I have been experiencing some pain during sexual intercourse. I have tried discussing the issue with him but he seems not to give any attention to it. My situation has been made worse because I now bleed after having sex. When he is drunk he shouts at me saying that I am being unfaithful to him and sleeps around then tries to apportion the blame on him. I have tried to convince him to accompany me to health medical facilities for consultation without success. What I only get in return is more torture in the form of public humiliations and insults. 

I have failed to get medical help as even the clinics need some money to have me treated. My husband does not allow me to do any type of income generating projects. He does not want me to look for employment either. He says that all women involved in such activities find excuses to engage in adulterous relationships. I am an able bodied woman who can work for her family but the only challenge is the refusal by my husband to let me work. He claims that what he is fending for the family is more than enough. He buys himself new clothes but the rest of the family gets second hand clothes always. He justifies that by saying that if he buys me new clothes some men will snatch me away from him.  

My husband does not beat me but the way he treats me and the children is very depressing. He does not pay for their school fees or even have time for them. At times he even sleeps out and does not take kindly to being asked where he was. Whenever I have an argument my husband, he would vent his anger on the children by beating them up for no apparent reason. He would then go on drinking sprees. When he returns, he would smoke marijuana inside the house trying to provoke us. If I ever caution him that it is not healthy for the family, he would get a chance to go away and not return even for two days.  

I have sought the intervention of his family but they seem to be supportive of his actions. He even banned me from seeing some of my friends whom he claims are bad influence to me. He tells me whom to talk to and associate with. I am not allowed to move around our community without permission or even attend some women’s social gatherings. He says that such gatherings are only meant for single and elderly women.