Zimbabwe: The suffering I had from my husband

We stayed in the farming area of Mhangura, Mashonaland West Province together with my family. My husband, Farai*, never paid anything to my parents but was very abusive. I had last seen my mother in 2005 till when I paid a visit to Buhera, Manicaland Province, in 2014. When I visited my birth place in 2010 I was devastated to find that my mother had died long back in 2010. In between 2005 and 2014 Farai* did not allow me to visit any of my relatives. I was also not allowed to have a mobile cellular phone and I was unable to communicate with anyone from my home area. Farai* said that gadgets such as mobile cellular phones led to married women to be unfaithful and cheat on their husbands. He claimed that if anyone wanted to communicate with me he/she had to do so with his consent. 

I was not allowed to work or to do projects such as poultry. Farai* claimed that when male customers came to buy the chickens they would try to snatch me from him. He said that I was so beautiful that he did not feel comfortable having men or strangers around me. Farai* bought groceries for the family when he felt like not as a responsible and dutiful father. He would even order us to have tea or porridge without sugar. He would tell me that he did not any money yet he bought his beer on a daily basis. I cried nearly every day and regretted falling into such an abusive marriage.  

I would often tell my neighbours the torture I always faced. One of my neighbours even offered to help me with her mobile cellular phone that I call my parents and tell them the hardships I was facing. Unfortunately for me, I did not have their contact numbers. She promised me to raise some bus fare for me for I had shown her the courage I then had of visiting my family despite Farai*’s objections. I gathered some courage and begged Farai* to let me visit my parents even for a few days. I got beaten up for that simple request. He even demanded to know who had filled my head with such nonsense. I did not disclose to him that I was determined to go whether he had approved or not.  

One day when he drunkenly sleeping I sneaked out and left for Buhera, my home area. I was heart-broken when I got to Buhera expecting to meet my mother only to be shown late her grave. I spent a few days meeting relatives in the area and was given some addresses and mobile contacts of some of my long forgotten relatives. Everyone felt sorry for me when I narrated how I was being treated by my husband. I finally returned to Mhangura with a few dollars I was given by my cousins and uncles.   

I found a nasty surprise when I got to my house. My bedroom was now being used by Farai*’s new wife. All my belongings had been moved to another room which had some broken window panes and without a door. Farai*’s new wife had moved in soon after I left for Buhera together with her three children who were almost the same age groups as mine. I later learnt that she had been abandoned by her husband. Her husband had caught her in bed with a tractor driver from a neighbouring farm. Farai* then took over and invited her to come over with her children when I went to Buhera. Farai* and his new wife were surprised when my children ran to greet me. He told me to use the room where he had put my belongings because I had defied his orders. They both ill-treated my children and me. Physical assaults, public humiliations and verbal insults became the order of the day to my children and l. My caring neighbours advised me to report all the abuses to the police. Farai* and his new wife were arrested and the case is still pending before the court. I am now staying at FACT Shelter together with my children.