Celebrating fathers, let’s hear about the role models

Instead, we usually hear about the poor example of fathers, the men who are absent, uncaring or even use their children as a way to ‘get back’ at the women with who they share these children. Of course these people exist, but many of today’s men are embracing their fathering roles, and maybe by hearing more about them, we can inspire even more men to take this all important job to heart.

 

Although it may seem like just another excuse for shops to sell us stuff we don’t need, Father’s Day’s origins are actually rather touching. It began in 1910 when the daughter of a United States (US) Civil War veteran, who had brought her and her five siblings up on his own after his wife’s death, organised a church service in her daddy’s honour. The idea became so popular that in 1972 Father’s Day was made an official national holiday in the US, and it has since spread across the globe.

 

These days many groups working around gender justice are recognising that just as men can be a problem – they can also be a powerful part of the solution to gender inequality and violence. The idea behind the new campaign, called simply African Fathers, is to promote men’s care and protection of children in order to increase the wellbeing of children, women, families, and men themselves.

 

Many successful women quote supportive fatherhood as an integral part of their career pathing and personal development. Emelda Mwamanga is a successful media entrepreneur in Tanzania. ‘Without my father pushing for me to have the same education as the boys, and then supporting me in business planning, I never would have made it,” she said. 

 

Emmie Mahlungi-Wade, Policy Analyst with the African Capacity Development Foundation in Zimbabwe says, “My father sent us abroad in the 60’s, imagine trusting a young girl all one her own in United Kingdome and Canada? But he believed in us and each of his daughters is now a professional woman.”

 

Having a supportive caring father can make all the difference to a boys and girls. By educating and inspiring all Africans, especially fathers, through public awareness campaigns, research, and other resources, we can improve the role of fathers and how they support their children.

 

Instead of always featuring the negative examples of fatherhood, media should show the positive examples of fatherhood and encourage men to enter the domain of care for children, in contrast to focusing on highly visible cases of abuse and neglect by what remains a small minority of men.

 

Media can also make a difference by highlighting the benefits of father involvement with children for their own personal health and satisfaction. Commitment to one or more children often gives one a longer-term perspective on life, which helps men to reduce harmful behaviour towards themselves and others.

 

After all, when you take your fathering seriously, you want to show the best example for your child. More and more men are also realising the good relationships with children are simply satisfying.

 

In the study, “Baba? Men and fatherhood in South Africa,” research pointed to the centrality of fatherhood to the lives of men and experiences of children in South Africa, and argued that fathers can make a major contribution to the health of society. There is a need for further research to better understand and elaborate on the social and historical context by which men have come to be separated from families.

 

The migrant labour system, marginalisation and massive unemployment, have all disempowered men and disabled their capacity to live with and support their families. In response to this, social adaptations have emerged amongst men, such as machismo related to the conquest of women, which further alienate them from children.

 

There are many different definitions of a "good father." Everyone has the power to create their own version to meet the needs of themselves and their families. From pregnancy and throughout the first years of parenthood, men change and develop a unique identity as a father.

 

The main challenge to getting the African Fathers campaign up and running is to populate the project website with African experiences, advice and initiatives. The campaign will draw a lot of inspiration from outside the continent, but try to stimulate and expose African expertise on fatherhood.

 

As we celebrate father’s day this year, let’s not only celebrate our fathers, but also think about the importance of fatherhood in society. After all everyone benefits when fathers play their part.