From murderer to welder

My name is Zakes*. I was born and grew up in Orlando, Soweto and I come from a very poor family. Without proper parental care, I was exposed to all kinds of activities to make money for a living. My mother never asked how I made money, even if I came home with new and expensive clothes or appliances. Instead she would want me to buy her alcohol. She was an alcoholic. It was hard growing up in this kind of environment.

I used to steal from neighbours and I ended up stealing cars. This became my full time “job”. As I got more experienced in this “trade”, I ended up stealing cars as per order on behalf of my “customers”. I made a lot of money this way.

I remember one day my friends and I went to Kibler Park to steal cars. When we got there things got out of control. We were looking for a BMW 325is and we found our target. The person who was driving the car we wanted was with his family, but that did not deter us. We were selfish and wanted to get what we wanted. We were driving two cars, and I was driving behind the lead car.

We hijacked our target and everyone wanted to drive the target car. We were arguing about who would drive until the wife tried to escape. We shot her in the back and she died on the spot. We then had to decide if we were to kill the husband and the kids as well. We tied them up and one of my friends who was doing drugs, wanted to kill them. We insisted that they be left alive and he eventually agreed and we left with their car, which I drove.

I then bought that car from my colleagues. Months passed and I continued stealing only the BMW 325is. I was making a collection of all the colours.

My gang was generally abusive and we lived a promiscuous life within the community. We were nicknamed “The German Boys”. Our motto was “drink and have fun while still alive.” I was one of them. I felt like I belonged. Things were going well for me. Admittedly, I was in and out of jail, but it was not for long periods. I had corrupt policemen whom I worked with, so they would arrange for my bail. Life was easy for me.

My friends and I would sometimes go to taverns and we will jack-rol (Rape) women and assault their boyfriends. We didn’t care what people thought of us. The community hated us. We became known and everywhere we went people were scared of us. Some members of the community would go to the police station to report us, but the case would not go to trial due to dockets being “lost”.

In the course of events, I impregnated two women. I used to beat them until they were almost dead and they were very scared of me. These women knew each other. One of them had a miscarriage. After that, we agreed for her to go back to school to study teaching, because she had always wanted to be a teacher.

I was then was introduced to selling drugs. I was selling them and my mother would help with the deliveries.

A lot of youngsters wanted to join my gang. I would hire them to sell drugs for me at their school. I was now a drug lord; I stopped stealing cars and focused on the drug business. I bought a house in Kensington and ran my business from there. The business got big and I also started an escort business with my two women. The one who was studying dropped out and joined me.

Things got out of hand one day and I was arrested when I was on my way to make a big deal which I thought would be my last deal. I wanted to stop everything and be a better person. I was physically and mentally tired. A very close friend of mine had been killed during a routine delivery. That day made me realise that I needed to change and become a better person.

Things changed from then on as everyone who was close to me turned their backs on me. I remember calling my mother and telling her that I had been arrested, she replied saying that it was about time I paid for my wrongdoings. I was so confused, because she had been encouraging this life I was living.

I was sentenced to 28 years for burglary, rape, robbery, heist robbery and hijackings. Things got worse while I was in jail. Some of the prisoners knew me and I was not treated well. I felt like the world was against me. I tried to change and I was introduced to programmes like team building, investment excellence, anger management and others that really changed me. I even learned the word of God. I was then given a chance to speak to the juvenile prison children, to encourage them and let them know that crime does not pay.

In 2009 I was released on parole for good conduct. Freedom was not easy. Unfortunately my mother had been killed by the community (mob justice). The community didn’t welcome me. They were still angry and they were scared that I hadn’t changed. I remember my neighbour moved to a different town, because of me. Then with help from the Community Police Forum (CPF) I became a volunteer and the community slowly began to accept me.

I have now been accepted back into the community and I have met a very loving and caring person. We are living together and I’m currently looking for a permanent job. While I was in prison, I learned how to weld. At the moment I get small welding jobs: enough to provide food for me and my special woman.

*not his real name. This story is part of the “I” Stories series produced by the Gender Links Opinion and Commentary Service for the Sixteen Days of Activism on Gender Violence.