Its time for us to redefine our masculinity...
Its time for us to redefine our masculinity
Date: January 1, 1970
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The headlines, ?More women victims of men?s rage? ?Men under pressure turn into family killers? have become a familiar feature of South African media. This has led to a greater interest in what it is that contributes towards and feeds some men?s violent behaviour and the study of masculinities.
In many black communities, generations of young men and boys have been socialised into believing that ?real men? do not to cry; should always fight back and never be beaten by girls; are strong physically; are decision-makers who initiate sexual intimacy and have multiple sexual partners.
The headlines, “More women victims of men’s rage” “Men under pressure turn into family killers” have become a familiar feature of South African media. This has led to a greater interest in what it is that contributes towards and feeds some men’s violent behaviour and the study of masculinities.
In many black communities, generations of young men and boys have been socialised into believing that “real men” do not to cry; should always fight back and never be beaten by girls; are strong physically; are decision-makers who initiate sexual intimacy and have multiple sexual partners.
But as they grow up and begin relationships these values come into conflict with the reality of their lives. For example, they have learnt that not showing emotion is strength and that being sensitive loving and kind is a sign of weakness; yet these are the attributes that many people seek in a partner.
Apartheid has played a major role in the definition of masculinity of and by black men. The black man has always been regarded as the ‘inferior man’ and was often faced with situations that devalued the way they defined their masculinity. The sense of emasculation that many black men feel stem from their own experiences of oppression during apartheid.
Masculinity is not only culturally defined but is also influenced by economic roles played by men. In the contemporary, many men find themselves unemployed and unable to support their families. At the same time some it appears that women enjoy greater economic power than they had previously, and are often perceived as challenging men’s role as “provider of the family”. The irony is that some of these women who are perceived to be in positions of influence and power have little power in their homes and over their sexual choices.
For many men, when they unable to assert their masculinity through the acquisition and allocation of resources, they resort to violence as an alternative way of asserting their masculinity. Many turn to sub-cultures that glorify traditional notions of manhood – as powerful, dominant, without emotion such as the “Amapantsula” and “Amgintsa” in South African townships.
Society also supports and perpetuates particular expressions of manhood. This happens through practices at learning institutions, religious institutions, traditional institutions, sports, the military, amongst others.
The challenges adult black males face today are a reflection of the societal pressure they have been exposed to. This we see in the spate of femicide, which alludes to the possibility that masculinity is in crises. Men are no longer homogeneously rural, urban or even traditional. We have many external influences which contribute to the way we behave and to our knowledge.
Global events also contribute to the frustrations of black men. Ideologies like neo-liberalism enhance the sharp divisions within our societies as the richer get richer and the poorer get poorer. As life becomes a daily struggle and men cannot meet their family needs, tensions build in communities and it is women who bear the brunt.
Despite cases of femicide being reported more frequently, it appears that the consequences for men who kill their intimate partners do not act as deterrents. The overburdened criminal justice system means that cases take long to be processed and finalised and often, the biased attitudes within the system, mean that these crimes are not treated with the seriousness with which they deserve. Compounding the problem are problems with the punitive nature of correctional service facilities. Instead of being rehabilitated, many men’s experiences of prisons leave them hardened.
But despite all these, there is hope. If violence against women is to be eradicated, then it is up to men to change. It is necessary to recognise the potential that “talking man to man” has for ending violence against women. In the face of the ever-changing social environment it is important that black men redefine their masculinity.
I would like to see a situation where our physical prowess is used to hurt women but rather to protect and embrace them. This can be possible if the societies in which we live can promote this. It is time that black men started looking at other positive alternatives of defining their identity that will create harmony in society. In Zimbabwe men are at the forefront of providing home based care to terminally ill HIV/AIDS patients through which they undertake roles that were traditionally considered to be women’s. Although it took time to change men’s perception, it worked and men’s contribution has been enormous.
Let us learn from our brothers that change is indeed possible.
At the time of writing, Patrick Mukoya Otipa was the Project Manager of the Men in Action Campaign at the National Network on Violence Against Women.
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