Joel Nkosi-Zambia

MY FATHER FORCED ME TO SWALLOW A CONDOM AS PUNISHMENT

By Cynthia Kalizinje

I really don’t know how to start this, but I have to be strong and let the world know that not everyone who is a man is a father. I was never safe in my father’s house; I was not even protected because I was always condemned. What could I have done so bad to be hated by my own father?

I have never had a chance to know family members from my biological mother, because she died when I was very young. Being the only child, I always had high hopes that I would be my father’s best friend, but I was wrong.
The moment my father re-married, I was never safe, protected and loved. All what I got was hate, blame, I was never right to them, was called a nuisance.

My name is Joel Nkosi, I am 16 years old. My father Samson Nkosi a Zambia National Service officer and my step- mother Patricia kaswilili verbally and physically abused me.

It was in September 2012 when I when my father forced me to swallow a condom as punishment for getting the condoms from his car. My father left some condoms in his car, so I got the condoms with the intentions of making a ball out of them. When I explained to my parents that I only intended to make a ball, they did not believe me, my step-mother then proposed that since I was not saying the truth I should swallow the same condom. My father was for the idea and he demanded that I swallow it or else he was going to kill me. I remember my step-mother brining a cup of water for me to drink after swallowing the condoms. He then asked me to get into the car and he drove to Mazabuka and dumped me there asking me to walk back home (Kafue) on foot.

After this incidence, I decided to run away from home and share the story with Evelyn Chongo Chilufya who I call my aunt. She then reported the matter to victim support unit and both of them were arrested. After the arrest, my relatives from my father’s house began to threaten me that I should withdraw the case or else something bad was going to happen to me. This really scared me and I was forced to move out the house because I was no longer safe. I moved in with Aunt Evelyn but she was also warned not to keep me.

When my father was realised on bail, he said he wanted to talk to me. When I went home I was hoping he was going to ask for forgiveness but to my surprise, he threatened to kill me if I did not tell the court that it was the devil that made me accuse him, he was innocent and that I was not going to testify in the courts of law.

In the night as I was sleeping, I saw him with a cup filled with white liquid. I was so scared because I knew he was capable of anything. I had to pretend as though I was fast asleep; the moment he left the bedroom I escaped went to Mr Samuel Banda’s house who I call my father. I narrated the story to him, and he recorded it on video.

This who incident disturbed my school, I was supposed to write my grade 9 examinations in 2012 but I couldn’t because my father and my step-mother couldn’t allow me to continue with school. I have a swollen knee because of him, he used to kick me with military boots, he used to treat me like a criminal. My father’s beatings were so much more vicious, him been an officer for Zambia National Service he hit as hard as he could and left bruises.

sometimes breaking the skin because, and he would sometimes pin me down on the bed to like sit on me and beat me until he got tired or I threw up because he was pressing on my guts and causing me extreme pain. When my father says every mistake deserved punishment he meant it, with the influence of my step mother, he always did what could make her happy. One day I was punished not to sleep in the house.

I used to sleep outside for the whole rain season, I couldn’t handle sleeping outside so I went back and begged them to take back as their own son but still they couldn’t allow me to sleep with them under one roof.

I am now glad that justice prevailed; my step-mother was sentenced to 6 months imprisonment whilst my father 2years with hard labour although he has appealed. I am now able to recall details of the physical and verbal abuse and I am now feeling the emotions that go with it, however Counselling has helped me unravel some of these feelings.