Rejected because of my HIV status

Roscoe says:

I know the feeling sister and everything you said is true, my girlfriend dumped me, she kept me hanging being ok with my status and suddenly becomes an issue of infecting her, I didn’t ask for this and I know I would’ve been expected to accept it if it was her

Nana says:

I know the feeling.. My boyfriend of 1 year 3 months suddenly suggested we become intimate 2 days ago.so I thought I should be honest and disclose my status. At first he hugged me and told me he stills loves me and nothing has changed. But his actions tell a different story. He’s been avoiding me. I hate to say this but I feel rejected by him and it’s the worst feeling ever.

Jenny says:

Excuse me for my English language, I am still learning. I met a really nice guy last year December, everything is going on perfect but I haven’t told him that I am HIV positive..I tried to introduce the topic but he was not so much interested, I asked him if he knows that nowadays people can be married, have children despite being HIV positive, he told me that the whole topic is a serious topic. So, talked to my doctor, she is a very nice lady and she is willing to talk to him on my behalf, she will explain to him everything that he needs to know…I know he will be shocked, maybe he will be disappointed too. Fingers crossed. Tomorrow he will meet my daughter for the first time, he has also expressed the idea of having a family with me.
By the way, I am a mother to HIV negative daughter, she is 9 years old, my ex-husband is HIV negative too

Grey says:

I know the feeling. I recently got rejected because of my status. When i told him he seemed understanding(now i realise it was just a front). It was out of pity.

I visited him a week after disclosure. He seemed okay with it. But when i touched him, he got no erection. Thats when i got the message. I didnt cry infornt of him. I told him i understood. I convinced myself that he needed time.

He then asked me to visit him again. We had fun, everything was okay this time. Until recently on the day of our last exam. We were supposed to go out. He didnt call me. I asked if we were still meeting up. He said he doubted it. He came to my flat and asked for all his belongings(his jacket and his ID) and told me “Im sorry, but I cant get your status off my mind, see you when i see u”
I have never felt so used and rejected in my life.
The issue is not him dumping me, its the reason he dumped me for

I was coping with my status but this has been a major satback.

Alvin says:

Hey I’m a Father with aids of 3 teens and my girlfriend of vyf years also AIDS + have just Left me and said she have move on so I no what you are going through so I don’t no what or where to start picking up the pieces any help?

Nokuthula says:

Me too i met a guy when i disclose to him said he was ok then his action started changing towards me so i decided ill give him space amd spend time with myself

Nongcebo says:

I was born with HIV and i happened to disclose my status early in the relationship , he seemed to be fine with it. He supported me in every way such that i really thought we were going to get married someday. However after dating for 1 year 5 months , he started having complaints about his fears for getting infected by me and he said i will infect his kids with my HIV if i happen to bear him children so he cant continue with the relationship. I am deeply hurt and the words he said to me keep on repeating in my ears.

Dikeledi says:

Hi there I’ve been staying with my boyfriend for 4 years which is mu husband now, he took out lobola for me in 2018, after that in 2020 much I got sick very sick I was loosing weight, no appetite n he took me to the hospital where I was diagnosed with TB N HIV, now he dumped me at hospice for 4 month, I got discharged n he took me to my Aunts place, he is now rejecting me n he doesn’t want to go to test, n I heard rumors that, his first girlfriend died of HIV n aids, I want to open a case of deserting me while um sick n I need help cause he is now divorcing me I want to know my rights

teraz says:

i finally told a guy on the first date! phone calls he really liked me..now no calls! oh well his loss! I told him early on because he was making plans. To meet his family! was the first time in 3 years i told any guy! I.m a good woman and if I have to be alone so be it.

Dialia says:

I have a boyfriend and we have dated for 6 years now im afraid to reveal my status to him .. im afraid now this comments are making me scared even more.. what if he leaves me and treat me as hell .. should i drop the relationship myself? Someone help me here .. is revealing this big secret a good idea? I will hate myself if get rejected my esteem will be low .. i need an advice .. i started of like a joke by asking him what he would do if he finds out that one of us is affected he said that he will accept the fact and know how to deal with the situation.. i asked if he would judge and leave he said he can’t do that since it’s not a big deal he said that mature people sit and talk then solve the situation.. but according to this comments i see the same thing happening bitter truth hurts id rather leave than stay and experience feelings

Brittany says:

I was getting to know this guy for a year and a half and we became very close. I tested positive for hiv 4 years ago but I’m in treatment so I have a undetectable viral load. I didn’t disclose my status to him right away because I knew there was no risk in me transmitting the virus. When we first began having sex I would always put a condom on him but it would either break because he was very well endowed or he’d seem not as aroused with it on. It gave me the impression that he was used to having unprotected sex and we eventually stopped using condoms all together. He had already told me he was negative and that he just felt comfortable enough with me to not use protection. I wanted to tell him that he was wrong about his assumption of me but I’d never disclosed my status to any guy before and I was terrified of his reaction or rejection. The more we got to know eachother the harder it became to tell him about my hiv because I’d become attached to him. I finally told him about my positive status a month ago and he initially took it very well. He said he didn’t blame me for what I did and that he took responsibility for his part in having unprotected sex. I told him about my undetectable viral load and how it meant he wasn’t at risk but I still insisted that he get tested to know for sure. He did mention that if his results came back negative that he might be skeptical about having sex after but he didn’t wanna lose me as a friend. It took him weeks to go get tested, when he finally did his results came back negative. So of course now he wasn’t trying to have sex with me anymore. I tried apologizing for my dishonesty, making every kind of plea in hopes that he would change his mind. He said if I’d told him about my status early on he’d probably be more willing to try. I tried explaining to him just how hard it is to disclose your hiv status especially for the very first time but like most hiv negative people they don’t understand how shameful it can make you feel. Once I expressed my feelings for him and how I didn’t wanna lose him he said he wanted me in his life regardless but the relationship has basically dissolved in a matter of weeks. His feelings towards me clearly have changed. I’m completely heartbroken about it. I’d really grown to love this guy and I regret not being honest from the beginning. Maybe he would have still excepted me? But I also know that most people won’t even get to know you when they know your positive so with him I wanted to have a opportunity for him to see beyond my hiv. That ended up being my downfall tho and knowing what I know now I’d rather have told him in the beginning and took my rejection before I actually fell for him.

Adeyemi says:

Why they don’t want to get the cure for this hiv because this thing have Damaging lot of things

Neo says:

Am met this guy for a year now, I told him about my status yesterday, he don’t want to believe me,he also don’t want to go for test,as believe he can’t be infected,am scared I don’t know what will happen nest

Mpilo says:

Hi

My name is Mpilo. I am living with HiV since 2009 Sept to be exact. I am very beautiful and sexy if I may say so myself. I am living a very healthy lifestyle. I met my partner in 2019 and disclosed my status 6 months in a relationship, I kept on postponing disclosing until the condom broke and I had no choice but to tell him. He was heart broken, mad at me and disappointed and dumped me. I told him that I accept and understood that it was not easy for him. Fast foward we got back together and we r staying together now with my step son. (The 3 of us) but we get intimate maybe once in 3 months. He doesnt touch me, he doesnt kiss me but we share the bed.

Everything else is well and good but we sleep as friends almost everyday. I stopped initiating bcs he wud say no an wud sleep heart broken. I am sharing tears writing this bcs I love this guy but deep down I know this is rejection in a very different way. I sometimes forget my status but when I think of what is happening in this house my heart pains as if I was diagnosed yesterday. So many times I asked if we see a professional he said a flat No he doesnt want us to involve a 3rd person he will deal with this his own way.

I am dying a slow painful death bcs our relationship looks so perfect but I am being rejected every day.

Mpumi says:

I disclosed my status this morning to my boyfriend of 3months, we haven’t been intimate so I wanted to disclose before it got to that.i kind of regret telling things have changed already, I am so in live with this guy but I guess I have no choice but to get over him, but it hurts so much i am crying even now

Bruce says:

I understand most of the comments here about rejection and shame and I really get how most people feel like this after disclosing and people decide to distance themselves one way or the other. I recently found out my gf was taking Meds as I was looking for something in her bedroom. All along she didn’t bother to tell me that she’s positive.

For me this is where rejection begins, most people in these kind of shoes don’t want to maintain any further relationship because of broken trust and lack of transparency in something that is just as critical as life itself. I wondered how someone who says they love me would not want me to be safe and just keep me in the dark like that.

Reading most comments here and pondering on my own situations I realised that the break down in relationships is a result of other factors like the ones I mentioned above and disclosure becomes the catalyst. If I’d known beforehand I would have probably dealt with this differently and probably committed to staying. However, knowing that you’ve been lied to for over a year and not even once did someone think of protecting you or giving you the liberty to choose for yourself is somewhat betrayal that most people can’t get over.

The main protagonist is obviously disclosure but the real reasons lie behind factors surrounding the whole situation. I wish everyone life and life in abundance. God bless

Thandi says:

Reading the comments has given me so much anxiety. I recently got in a relationship with someone who was a longtime friend of mine . He asked me to be in a relationship with him, and as a result I decided to disclose I am HIV positive. He was shocked and hurt but he said he still wants to persue a relationship with me. I am falling for him but I can tell his having a difficult time accepting my status. His behavior has not changed towards me but he sometimes tells me his hurt by my status because I am a good person and I didn’t deserve to be infected. I really like him and I want to know how I can better help support him in dealing with the fact I am HIV positive

*Sidenote
I’ve learnt its always better to disclose your status very early into a relationship. It makes things easier for everyone involved. It’s frustrating that HIV positive people are burden with disclosing their status when other people don’t even know their status. But unfortunately knowing your status comes with that responsibility

Owethu Mdluli says:

I feel you sister,my boyfriend also rejected me when he was starting to initiate sex, I wanted to come out about my status before doing the deed.When I told him he acted okay and said he understands but after that,the relationship went cold and he became distant and eventually we broke up.I know that he ran because of my status.it hurts daily to know that a person I loved wholeheartedly would just reject me like that.Worse part I was born HIV positive and I’ve forgiven my Parents but I still feel very different from other girls out there because of my status. My boyfriend leaving me just made my self esteem plummet to the ground.

Mpilo says:

You had

Londiwe says:

Hi everyone. I am reading your comments and I’m sad for several reasons, one being that so many of you have decided to live with the burden of hiding your statuses and I am sorry that the would we live in has brought you to that point. I’m positive myself and have been for about 6 months now. Last week I went for my six month check up and I officially have an undetectable viral load. I was open about my status a month after my diagnosis. As a matter of fact I posted it on my whatsApp status because I didn’t want to live with the burden of keeping such a huge secret. Also, I wanted to take control of my life and destiny. I went on Tinder recently and I also posted on my profile that I’m positive because I wanted someone who would come into my life by choice knowing my status because the truth is hiding your HIV status from a potential partner is a lie. I know we are told to disclose when we are ready and what have you but I think when you are a person you need to take into account the type of community you live in. Fact is HIV is still very much stigmatised and we live in a society where no matter how much of a player a guy is he still wants to marry or date a blemish free woman and HIV is associated with being promiscuous. People seldom associate an HIV infection with one partner. They often think you were sleeping around and got the virus and that your infection is a punishment for your bad behaviour which is far from the truth.

The point I am trying to make here is that we speak of protecting ourselves from rejection by not disclosing and some say they didn’t see a need to disclose because they were on their medication and knew they wouldn’t infect the other person etc. But the fact is a lie is a lie. Someone was dishonest with you and thats why you are positive that doesn’t mean you have to do the same to someone else. You cannot build trust from a lie even if you lied to protect yourself a lie is a lie and eventually it will backfire.

When I say we need to take the sort of society we live in into account I mean whether we like it or not society expects women to be blameless. Innocent. Pure. Perfect. So dearest lady do yourself a favour and protect yourself by being honest with your status. How is this a form of protection you may ask? It’s protection in that as a woman society already places so much burden on you that it’s also your prerogative to protect yourself where you can by taking charge of who says and thinks what about you. By disclosing your status you are taking ownership and responsibility for your life, you are making a choice at who comes into your life and that is people who are willing to accept you as you are including your HIV status and not leaving yourself to be at someone else’s mercy. You are protecting yourself from being ill treated because of your status. Just because you are HIV positive doesn’t mean you don’t have a choice. Many of you seem to be willing to accept any man that comes into your life just because you’re HIV positive and you are lying to keep them which is not a good move whether you’re positive or negative.

You can be HIV positive and still be single by choice. I am saddened by how we as women continue to let our relationship statuses define us. Married. Single. Childless or whether you gave birth to boys or girls only. Guys please lets stop. Life is difficult enough without us having to put so much pressure on ourselves to be a certain way before society. Had you not been positive you would be battling whether you’re wife material or not and bending over backwards to prove that you are. You are not single because you are HIV positive you are single because of the type of society we live in and its expectations of as because we are women and so it’s always important that we always care and protect ourselves as women not by lying but being transparent and being the best versions of ourselves even in the face of adversity.

I can assure you right now that had it not been our HIV statuses that are bringing us down, had we been negative we would be writing about how sad it is that we are unmarried or single at a particular age. Guys we need to start understanding the world we live in and not put so much pressure and burdens on ourselves to meet so many societal pressures. There is a guy here who wrote about erectile dysfunction as a result of porn addiction. Porn for men is such a normal and expected thing but if you hear a woman has a porn addiction you will frown upon this. The point I’m trying to make is that as women we are expected to be a particular way and anything less is unacceptable. So lets protect ourselves from life’s disappointments by staying honest even when it’s the hardest thing to do.

Guys lets start loving ourselves more whether we are positive or not. I know God designed us to be very accepting and understanding and we want this to be reciprocated to us by the opposite sex. However, by continuing to having unprotected sex with people we don’t their statuses even in our positive states we run the risk of getting reinfected. If the person who infected you wasn’t honest with you about their status what makes you think the person you think will run after knowing your HIV status isn’t positive and just being dishonest. Someone can come to you knowing they are HIV positive and can turn around and say you infected them after disclosing so lets protect ourselves from having our statuses used against us to serve other people’s agendas.

You can be HIV positive and still reject a man who comes into your life because they are not a right fit for you. It seems majority of you have stopped looking at character and just want to be in a relationship because you’re scared you might end up alone for the rest of your life. Yes, that is a huge possibility but that doesn’t mean you should sacrifice yourself and end up in an abusive relationship, be it mentally, emotionally or physically just because you are HIV positive and don’t want to be alone.

Please guys lets take back our lives and stop wallowing in self pity of being HIV positive. I think this mindset is actually more dangerous than risking rejection from telling someone you are HIV positive. People need to learn to live with HIV and they won’t do that if we as an HIV positive community continue to hide our statuses. I am open with mine because I know we have a large number of individuals born in the 90s and 2000s who are HIV positive. Majority of them were born that way and we cannot let them enter the dating world in shame over something they had no control over. Share your HIV status on behalf of that innocent child who was born positive. Lets try and create a better and more understanding world for them to love and live in unashamedly and fearlessly.

Lets take the focus away from ourselves for a munite and maybe some good will come out of that small gesture.

Stop thinking that people left you because of your HIV status. They left because they were not meant to be in your life period. Love is beautiful. We all want it but lets strive for healthy and wholesome relationships regardless of our statuses. Its feels good to love and be loved. It feels good to have a suport system. It can even boost yourself confirdence if you’re withthe right person. But its not everyone who come into our lives whos meant to stay or is good for us and it seems our HIV diagnosis has made us forget this. Lets stop assuming our relationships with these potential partners would have been perfect had it not been for our HIV status. HIV positive or not you still have standards please stop compromising out of the fear of being single or alone forever. Whether you are HIV positive of not you still need to bring a quality man into your life.

M says:

At first I didnt think I needed to leave a comment because I actually do not know what it is like to be HIV positive. However I have been living in a fear for the past 4 years. I was 16 when I contracted my first sti of course my parents got me to do an HIV test as well to rule out the possibility but I think I might have done it too early to actually know and the test came back negative. Nobody at the clinic recommended a second test and it’s when I got older I realised that.. that was to be done 6 months after your first testing. I have since been in 3 relationships, two in which i practiced protected sex but I soon forgot about what took place when I was 16 and I figured i may have been negative so for my most recent relationship I didnt use any protection. Now this is where it got dark i contracted another sti from this guy.. dumb dumb me right? I went to the doctor and luckily it was something than can be cured as the first one. The doctor of course recommended I do an hiv test but I didnt do it out of fear. I then ended my relationship with that guy. But now! I met another guy who I really really like. He seems genuine and mature but when the topic of sex is mentioned he told me without hesitation he prefers to have sex without a condom. I’ve made it clear to him that I dont believe in that because obviously I haven’t had the best of luck. The guy went out of his way to do all sti and hiv testing just to prove to me that has nothing and quite Frankly all results came back ok. Now I am the one left to do an HIV test and I am terrified out off my mind I dont know what to expect. What if I am really positive for all these years or just a month or two now? I really like this guy he is the type of person you would want to marry and have kids with, very family oriented, not wild or anything. But what if I am positive? Would he still want to date me? I know I am young and I have my whole life ahead of me and I really need to know my status for my wellbeing and peace of mind but I am terrified and I really dont have much support. HIV has always been feared and faced with stigma where I live even my family members have stigmatized people with hiv which I know is awfully wrong. I always hesitated to do the test because I know what I’d have to face. I have anxiety just thinking about it. There is just so much going on right now in my life I just got my first real job which Is great, I have now gotten a new car things are really going good for me but this one little test. This one little test have me scared that everything will change and I know that sounds horrible because HIV should never under any circumstances be stigmatized and dealt with how society is dealing with it and even though we’re evolving there are still some countries with people who still looks down on you just for having hiv. I always wondered why is that so because honestly I would never treat someone differently because of their status but this is just world we’re living in. I am scared, I am terrified I dont know what to expect as I mentioned before. I cant live with rejection because I love having people around me. I know I must do this for myself to finally know the truth but there is really a high chance I might have it.. I tried to do as much research and I know that once you have contracted any sexual transmitted disease, you have a chance of having hiv as well.. I don’t know how I am going to take it if I am positive but I know its something I must do for myself and before i hook up with someone who doesn’t want have sex with a condom. I am really just here self pitying.

Thabile says:

Hey guys. I need help. I Recently met this guy whom I like very much. We have been on 2 dates and now He has invited me for a weekend getaway which I agreed to. My issue now is I was diagnosed with HIV 2019. I’m on medication and have reached undetectable viral load. I want to tell the guy before the weekend away that I am HIV positive, just in case things get hot and heavy. I don’t want to tell him after the fact as I feel that would be disingenuous. My question is, I don’t think I will be able to tell him about my hiv status in person, would it be rude of me to send him a text to let him know of my status? Would really appreciate your comments or opinions. Thank you in advance.

Black Rose says:

Hi guys I am currently going through similar situation. I was diagnosed with HIV in 2019 I was honest and forthcoming with my now ex boyfriend. He told me he loves me and will accept me with my status. Our relationship blossomed we had a child together the following year who is negative. Our relationship starting going downhill and everytime we got into a fight he would take his medication and throw them in my face and insult me telling me I infected him. In my defence I would back chat n tell him that I gave him a choice he decided to be with me and after we conceived I told him to go to the doctor and get Pep he would refuse nevertheless those words keeps playing in my mind to date. I have had few episodes of depression and managed to get out of the dark space but to be honest I am not completely okay with my status. I keep wishing that I was not positive, I keep getting this fear that I might die and leave my son behind. We broke up eventually and now it’s over a year since I have last saw him or he made communication with our son.
I am independent and financially stable and have moved on with my life. I am currently dating someone a real gentleman if I may say, but I am terrified to disclose my status to him. I really yearn for stability in my life and have fear that my status will ruin my chance at happiness. We have been using protection since the beginning of our relationship but I fear that time might come when he insists that we get tested. Living with this virus has been a rollercoaster for me, I have my good days where I forget about it completely and bad days where I sometimes think death will end my misery, I have still not confronted the person who infected me. We have dated again last year and ended things but he still hasn’t spoken about it or even apologised for infecting me. I tend to resent him and wish ill things for him and sometimes I convince myself that we might as well fix things again and avoid the possible rejection I might encounter when I disclose to negative person.
I have not spoken about my status before and I feel a huge relief by opening up on this platform. Kindly suggest group support that I can join, talking really helps and I think we need to give each other strength during difficult days…..keep well let’s stay positive and hope that the cure will find us still standing!

Cheezy says:

@Bruce your story is exactly the same as my story bro this exactly what happened to me, she never told me about her status but I got some sms from unkown numbers warning me that my life is at risk, it came out that the stalker who was sending me sms is her cousin, so she was disclosing this to her cousins but she never bothered to protect me. Its so sad I dont wanna lie.

Moses Khoza says:

Well i had a Girlfriend who was born with HIV and the first time she told me deep down inside i panicked but because I loved her we dated for four years and we broke up and moved on and 3 years later we got back together and we fall in love again for another 3 years but the last year i was also diagnosed hiv positive but because i love her i judged her i accepted that we both hiv positive we will comfort and support each other few months later she meet someone while she was with me and she started to be moody towards and i confronted her about it and she said she loves me and we broke up again no im single and also hiv positive with heart with pain and regrets,She’s happy where she is and I’m not

Londiwe says:

In addition to the above, as someone who is HIV positive I will never date someone else who’s HIV positive and not on their medication because I run the risk of being reinfected by a different strain to the one I have that is possibly drug resistant.

We might both be HIV positive but if one of us is not being responsible or taking care of themselves they place the others health at risk.

So it doesn’t just end with an HIV diagnosis there are way way more things to take into account once you’ve been diagnosed in order to stay on top of your health. This does not only apply to HIV but the same goes for diabetes, cancer,tb etc. You don’t just get the diagnosis and go oh well that’s it for me. You make adjustments and get knowledge to live out your best live under the circumstances.

Reality is these days an HIV positive person can outlive an HIV negative person and that’s the reality we need to live our lives with. Build a life that makes sense to you with the knowledge you have and everything else will fall into place. If you’re living your life like it’s about to fall out of your grip you will lose it regardless of your HIV status.

Depression and imposter syndrome affect everyone regardless of HIV status. So do yourself a favour as someone who is already HIV positive, stay on top of your health so that when other things come at you you will be able to recognise that you are experiencing them cause you’re human and because life comes with difficulties that have nothing to do with your HIV status.

Thabile says:

@Londiwe Thank you so much for those wise words!I completely share the same sentiments.

I recently met someone and after I decided I want to persue a romantic relationship with them I disclosed my HIV status. With that he had a lot of questions, but I was able to assure him that I cannot affect him because I am on medication and my viral load is undetectable. That’s how we are building our trust. If you are HIV positive and not on medication please make sure you use a condom so that you don’t infect others until you ready to start medication. That’s one of the ways we are going to beat the stigma. HIV medication has really advanced. There is no need at this day and age to infect others. I highly recommend those that are not on medication to start ASAP so that you can have a long6and happy life

Anonymous says:

I was diagnosed late June 2020.
A month ago I met a guy online.
We been seeing each other 3 or 4 times. And I really like him and still do , We could have been a life time thing. But recently I told him my status after we had intercourse more than once. And he was devastated and shocked. Told me I have to heart and I’m trying to demolish his Life and that I was a sick person for not telling him.

I told him I’m on Drugs and that he would be affected. He did went for a test and it showed negative. He needs to test in 3 months time. The thing is I can’t sleep knowing his status after 3 months. I never tried to end his Life. It was just so difficult to disclose. And now I feel so much guilt each day.

He doesn’t want to see me no more. I feel so much hurt that people change just of your positive status. And have so much fear of getting it. While we are drinking our drugs each day to survive this virus. I feel depressed , anxiety.

Ntokozo says:

I am glad I read all the above before I almost revealed my status.

I am in a lesbian relationship with a girl who happens to also be my friend.
After being scared to inform her for almost 2years now.
I spoke to my Physician and he said along as I am undetectable then there’s nothing to worry about.

It takes alot of courage to speak about such things then people reject you.
I choose to play it safe, be cautious and if she finds out in the long run I will explain further and I hope she’ll find it in her soul to forgive me…

We didn’t choose to be in this situation and our lives cannot stop now or we can’t be drinking the ARVs everyday if we still have to embarrass and ridicule ourselves…..

My advise is drink your meds and live life to the fullest

Kemigisha irene says:

I too am going through the same situation of rejection. I have been on meds for 2 years now. So I met this guy recently, 4 months now,he decided to come to my crib and so we got intimate. I wanted him to find out am positive through my councilor but he found out through going through my staff by himself while I wasn’t around. He found the medicine and so I had to open up. I tried to explain to him I couldn’t pass it on since I take my meds well and my immune is so good, he didn’t understand, so I involved in the counselor to handle the situation. I don’t know if his going to go on with the relationship but he says his disappointed.
Sometimes I think for someone to reject us is because they are not informed and so see us as outsiders in the society. It’s funny how if they were in our shoes,they would need us to understand. If someone is meant to be yours, nothing can stop him. It’s just finding a reason to ditch us. And what if they are positive too and probably found out about your status before theirs.