Sex or rape? Something is terribly wrong!

Sex or rape? Something is terribly wrong!


Date: November 24, 2010
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When the story about a Jules High School girl being allegedly raped on the school grounds hit the headlines, I had a flash back to my worst moment as a mother of two daughters, then aged seven and ten.

One afternoon about 16 years ago my two princesses came rushing back from a Johannesburg school in a tizz because two men had been seen prowling around the girls ablution block. My girls, with whom I had not yet discussed sex, wanted to know the meaning of rape. I found myself unusually stumped for words. It still pains me that my moment to lead my daughters through the rites of passage should have been stolen from me in this cruel way.

On the eve of the Sixteen Days of Activism 2010, the news is awash with the Jules High School incident, that some call “sex”, others “rape”, others “alleged rape”. The confusion and conflation of sex and rape – apparent also in the famous rape trial of President Jacob Zuma two years ago- is a glaring reminder that something in our society is terribly wrong.

In the Jules High School case, we are told that boys drugged a 15 year old girl, but in the same breath that she consented to sex. In the course of a fortnight, one newspaper ran these three contradictory headlines: “Girl in video was willing”; then (after an exclusive interview with the girl) “I was not in control after taking drink”; but a week later, “Girl admits to consensual sex.”

The girl laid a charge of rape, only to find herself charged with rape through some bizarre twist of the Sexual Offences Act that makes it a crime to have sex with a girl below the age of 16, but makes her equally guilty if she consents.

She stands before a magistrate and says she did in fact consent. What would be the consequences if she did not say this? What are the choices? To go to jail (for raping herself?) or to face an agonising trial in which the cards are stacked against her? Even the president of the country got away with saying he did not force a young woman who regarded him as her father to have sex with him when she remains adamant that she said no!

The president’s accuser now lives in exile. The young woman at Jules High School is the subject of a cell phone video being pawned on the Internet. If she is not in physical exile, her soul must be somewhere close to hell. Where the two boys involved (whom the police did not want to charge so as not to disturb their exams) will be macho heroes, her reputation will be one of a cheap, low down “slut”.

I am not condoning women who have sex and then cry rape. Nor am I condoning under age children having sex, under whatever pretext, on school grounds. What I am saying is that when the line between sex and rape has become so blurred that we use these words interchangeably, something is seriously amiss. At the heart of this are the unequal power relations between boys and girls, men and women that result in us not even being able to distinguish what is and is not appropriate behaviour.

The Internet does not help. Try googling the word “girls” on Google images. You might expect to see pictures of young women going to school, planning their careers, at sports or at play. Instead you will find young women in bikinis, painting their finger nails, or being available for boys (like in the image adjacent). Images of “boys” on the other hand are cool, hunting in packs, playing sport, being successful, and (proudly) “bad”!

Ahead of 25 November – International Day of No Violence Against Women – Gender Links and the Medical Research Council are releasing preliminary findings of a gender violence prevalence survey for Gauteng showing that 51.1% of women in the province have experienced some form of gender violence, and that 78.3% of men admit to having perpetrated some form of emotional, physical, sexual or economic abuse over their lifetimes.

One in four women in the province has experienced sexual violence in their lifetime. An even greater proportion of men (37.4%) disclosed perpetrating sexual violence. What is chilling about the research is that in almost every case men corroborate what women say even more so than what the women claim. And, giving numbers to a well known fact, the research shows that overall only one in 25 rapes had been reported to the police.

Following the public outcry over the decision by the National Prosecution Authority to charge the two boys and girl involved in the Jules High School incident, the three are now likely to be sent on a “diversion” programme. It would be interesting to know what this will consist of. How not to drug a young woman? Why not to have sex on school grounds? Or how to treat each other with the respect that a Constitution anchored in equal rights demands?

If girls and boys understood what is meant by mutual respect, perhaps we would be able to identify right away what is sex and what is rape just like we know right from wrong. The obvious battles for gender equality – like getting a Sexual Offences Act passed – have been won. What the Jules High School case suggests is that the battle to change attitudes and mindsets has just begun.

(Colleen Lowe Morna is Executive Director of Gender Links. This article is part of a special series on the 16 Days of Activism for the Gender Links Opinion and Commentary Service that offers fresh views on everyday news. For the research quoted in this article and more information on the Sixteen Day campaign go to www.genderlinks.org.za).

 


0 thoughts on “Sex or rape? Something is terribly wrong!”

Izak Khomo says:

The Jules School is not the only place of learning where things have gone wrong. The story is being well covered in the media but others not covered at all; this is a big indicator on how hypocritical our media is. We are a two faced society that will only focus on certain sectors of society, the same being done, unfortunately, for some ulterior reasons. In this I am referring to the case of rape of school girls by a school principal, this resulting in the principal’s wife committing suicide rather then face the shame. The sad thing is that, that report which is just as vile and serious as the Jules event, was just reported once by most media outlets and then taken off and allowed to be forgotten. One of the Main paper said that they were not naming the school for reason of protecting the girls who are minors; in fact to date the school has not been named by any media outlet. The Jules school story is being rightly allowed to run and so the debate about our schools, what about the randy and paedophile principal’s school, that story should be allowed to run and also the school should be named and shamed. Issues of not reporting get to be clear when it’s realised that the principal’s school is an upper-class school catering for the endowed part of our South African population, which is basically upper-class white and the small upcoming BEE population. I end by reminding that upper-class schools also have their problems which need to be exposed, I’ am referring to paedophile molesting of children, people should realise that most cases of homosexual behavior is not the result of a biological or genetic condition, rather it is a result of behavior forming at a young age mostly through pediophilic abuse, cases of this have been studied in British all boys/girls boarding public schools, Roman Catholic and Anglican seminaries, etc, the list is long. The problem is that these cases were hushed up, as in the principal’s case, and society was not given a chance to act and correct the crime that is more serious then the Jules school child pornography that was perpetrated by minors and amongst themselves. This is a clear sign of selective coverage and reporting and it is unhealthy, it is such lopsided coverage that makes people call for some independent oversight media body, mark well I’ am not advocating for any thing nor am I homophobic, I am just pointing to an anomaly with in our society.

Willa Truter known as Ah,Willa! says:

It is sad – how did things go this wrong – I am too scared to place my 18month old baby boy in the care of others – left alone to send to school … but they need to learn, grow and fly …
we need to stand up and say enough is enough, by our examples – our dress codes, the books/magazines we buy – the movies we watch … we buy this wrongs into our lives … but what do I know … I have no degree or pedigree .. not even teeth .. just scars to show for a world that went wrong – terribly wrong – but I will smile and share hope

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