Who cares for our mothers?

Who cares for our mothers?


Date: July 6, 2012
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A woman lies on the floor in a small room in one of the high-density suburbs in Harare. She groans in deep pain and agony. She rolls up and down on the floor and struggles to wake herself up or shout for help. There is no one to take her to the hospital or even give her something to eat.

Her husband deserted her when her health started to deteriorate and her two children are in the diaspora.  A neighbour, who happens to visit intending to borrow salt, finally rescues her.  This woman is like so many who find themselves stranded and with no one to look after them when they fall sick, despite their own contributions to their families and to society.
As the world commemorates Mother’s Day this Sunday, 11 May, many mothers will receive presents of flowers or chocolates, or go out to lunch as a special treat from their children or husband to say thank-you for all the work a mother does. Yet for many women, and probably even more than a few who have received their own chocolates and treats, when they become ill, families and society often let these mothers down.
Although the trend is slowly changing, it is ironic that while women play the majority of care giving roles, shouldering the responsibility of looking after their sick children, relatives and even spouses, they are often stuck with no one to take care of them when they themselves fall sick. According to the Global Health Council, the burden of caring for ill family members rests mainly with women and girls, many of whom may be seriously ill themselves.
“Society expects women to be brave,À said Harare resident Laureen Hove. “If a woman falls sick, she is normally asked to go back to her parents’ home so that she is taken care of by her relatives. This situation is different when a man falls sick. He is given all the attention by the wife and everyone immediately thinks he needs to be cared for.À
One then wonders what happens to the woman who has lost her parents and has no one to look after her. The collapse of traditional family and support structures and HIV and AIDS is eroding the status and support of women in many countries.
According to reports from a “Learning EventÀ which aimed to share findings on best practices from Irish Aid-funded home-based care programmes in Zimbabwe, although some men are now being trained to be care givers, male involvement has been affected by perceptions that   men are “bread winnersÀ and need to be the family’s providers.
Even worse, in the context of HIV and AIDS, when a woman falls sick, people usually blame and accuse her of infecting her partner. People start to think back and find reasons for accusing her, but a man living with HIV tends to receive more sympathy.
In most instances, these disparities lead to stigma and discrimination. Due to fear of stigma, people deprive themselves of access to treatment, prevention, care and support services. They also deprive themselves of information on HIV and AIDS. It may also cause some people not to disclose their HIV status thereby continuing to infect their partners.
This has a significant impact on the attainment of the universal access goal, to provide comprehensive prevention programmes, treatment, care and support for all by 2010 endorsed by United Nations Member States at the High-Level Plenary Meeting of the 60th Session of the United Nations General Assembly in September 2005.
Working towards universal access is a challenge that requires the commitment and involvement of all stakeholders, including both men and women, and all affected communities.
So for this Mothers Day, along with the flowers and treats, let us re-affirm our commitment to looking after our mothers when they are both well and sick.
Let us encourage our expectant mothers to go for HIV testing so that they prevent babies from HIV infection and can access treatment that cushions them from transmitting HIV to babies during delivery. It is important to offer our mothers and everyone else support when they disclose their HIV status.
Let us also applaud men who have changed attitudes and behaviour. Men who have realised that everyone have a role to play in combating HIV and AIDS as well as in taking care of the sick.
Gloria Ganyani works with Southern Africa HIV and AIDS Information Dissemination Service (SAfAIDS) Media Unit in Zimbabwe. This article is part of the Gender Links Opinion and Commentary Service that provides fresh views on everyday news.


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