Zambia: Mamma’, an “eagle when she flies!”

Lusaka, 6 August – Many women have done well, but to those that have been privileged to know her including myself, she excels and on many occasions has exceeded herself. That’s her! The woman I am proud and blessed to call my mom.

To some people, she is just another woman that adds to the numbers. She carries on her business normally like any other woman and sometimes may even be invisible to certain circles of society.

To those that know her, she carries numerous metaphors. Some of her acquaintances call her a fighter of all times because she’s usually never deterred from tackling issues no matter how tough.

She has played dad and mom and succeeded as a single parent in ways that most parents could never even begin to imagine matching up.

Mamma’, as we fondly call her, is a beautiful woman in and outside. Infact in her hay days, you could have been forgiven for mistaking her for the black version of Marilyn Monroe and in my eyes, had the pageant world been this popular in her days, she would have been a super model. She has advanced in her age now, but I still look at her and think, it’s happening gracefully, just like her name suggests.

Grace Mushinge had always been soft spoken, a quality that added to her beauty and intelligence. I think it even made her more appealing, especially to handsome male admirers including my dad.

But when a time came to raise a family single-handedly, those feminine qualities would be transformed into the tough woman described in Dolly Parton’s song, “Eagle when she flies.”

The lyrics in the song go in part like, “She’s a sparrow when she’s broken, but she’s an eagle when she flies.”
Some of the incidents that stand out in my mind to that effect, include the fact that she opted to give up everything just to concentrate on raising eight children, six of them male. The little resources she had were channelled towards our education.

For her to pay our fees back in the day, she withdrew her entire salary and put it on the table, counting note by note. Slowly, she would hand over school fees to each one of us according to our needs. The notes would thin out until there was very little or nothing remaining on the table.

It did not deter her from lending a helping hand to others in need of food, shelter and other needs. One can never understand how she could be so generous and at the same time take care of the eight of us. However, these kind gestures brought us closer to our relatives and taught me to share the little I have at all times.

Yes, mamma’ is an eagle indeed. She nursed my late brother for a full year and took care of his every need. She had to juggle home care with hospital visits and work, but remained strong for us even when she was crumbling inside. When he died, she found the grace to say thank you to God for his life and accept that God found it fit to take him, because He had given him to her.
There are times when things are hard but she still maintains her cool and makes us know it’s going to be fine. Seeing her around in situations is half a solution, as she knows the right things to say and do when most needed. That is so reassuring.

Back in the day, someone we suspected to have been a thief was lurking around an open door outside our home. It was dark and late in the night. She noticed, encountered and managed to wrestle him until he ran off, falling over the stairs and disappearing in the dark. Like a hen protecting her chicks, there was and is nothing mom would never do for her children.
Just to safe guard human and moral rights or to uphold what she believed is right, where family and community are involved, she has had several run-ins with individuals and authorities.

One such encounter is when my late cousin was discharged out of hospital. He was very ill and mamma’ saw it unfit for hospital authorities to discharge her. Mamma’ demanded that hospital staff re-admit him until he was better. They refused and after a lengthy verbal exchange, she went and fetched the Minister of Health from his office. She asked the Minister to go with her to the hospital to address the situation. The following day, mamma’ made news in Zambia newspapers with one story published under the headline, “Health minister, UTH lock horns over negligence.”

Grace Mushinge also does voluntary work in the community including fighting for women’s rights to decent shelter and accommodation through an organisation called Zambia Women and Shelter Action Group. She founded this organisation and coordinates its activities. I recall a time when the local government authorities were demolishing illegal housing structures. She went in front of the bulldozer to stop the men carrying out the demolitions, reason being that local government did not have a right to destroy the illegal structures without providing residents with alternative means to accommodation. Her actions resulted in the halting of the exercise.

Nothing could be more fulfilling than knowing that I share the same genes with such a spirited and tenacious woman whose qualities I believe I posses. No prize in guessing, she is my role model!

Glory Mushinge is a Zambian freelance journalist. This article is part of the Gender Links Opinion and Commentary Service, special series on celebrating phenomenal women, bringing you fresh views on everyday news.