Zimbabwe: Living one day at a time

 Thirty-four year old Chenai has AIDS. She became seriously ill following her husband’s death last year. Her hospital bills became exorbitant and she moved in with her sister and her family. She spoke to Loveness Jambaya.  

It has not been an easy. When I first moved into my sister’s place I felt like I was intruding; like an outcast with a plague that no one wanted to catch. It was as if no one really wanted me around the house especially my sister’s children. I am not sure whether I was just being paranoid or that I was actually being stigmatised because of my condition.

 

Everyone around me just seemed to be extra careful where there was possible contact with me. They used disinfectants like Jik, gloves when cleaning the toilet and changing my linen, which I sometimes soiled, and so on. My sister’s two children would rewash everything I touched. They didn’t want to touch let alone wash my clothes. This was beginning to drive me insane and I thought they were just being over cautious. I began to feel bitter towards my nieces and all visitors who came to stay at the house. The situation became worse as I began to snap at everyone around even when they meant well. This began to affect my sister’s family as her husband was caught between allowing me continue staying at the house or ask me to leave for the sake of his children. 

 

We eventually received counselling from local care giver who is part of a team that works in the St Mary’s neighbourhood. The counsellor explained to my nieces and the rest of the family what sharing a house with an AIDS patient meant. She also made me understand that some of their actions were necessary precautions. She explained what could put them at risk and what was not considered risky.  Since then my relationship with my nieces has improved though it is not perfect.

 

When I look at it however, my sister tries her best. On a typical day, when I am seriously ill she wakes up early to make sure she helps me take a bath. If I am well enough I do it myself. Then she prepares breakfast for me, which is usually highly nutritious. She is quite fussy about what I eat and I have to make sure I oblige.  I then take my medication and go and sit outside for some fresh air and get my room cleaned for me.

 

I get something to eat again – fruit or some healthy snack like roasted peanuts, pumpkins or something else before I eventually get my lunch just after midday.  I take my medication and then go back to my bed to rest. I also have another snack before supper time. Supper is my last meal of the day. 

 

My sister or the care giver make sure I take my medication at the right times. The care giver also brings some food packs and home-based care kits that her organisation distributes to help my sister.  When my sister is busy – with her chain of flea market stalls – and cannot be available she has an arrangement with a voluntary care giver from the team that visits our neighbourhood.  It is difficult for her to ask the domestic helper to take care of me as she thinks it might become too much for her and she will run away from her.

 

Initially I believe I had the wrong attitude towards my sister. But that has changed as I see the effort she puts in to get me through each day. I have learnt to appreciate her love and support.  It is a struggle because she does not get much support from our other three siblings. They feel she is the best financially placed person to take care of me since she has a small business. But they do not understand the challenges she goes through taking care of me.  My other two sisters say their husbands won’t allow them to have me move in with them.  Meanwhile our only brother feels he cannot take me in to stay with him because I am female and they are male hence cannot burden his wife.  Fortunately my husband’s two sisters have taken in my children.

 

Some days are better than others but I have learnt to take one day at a time and put my trust in the Lord.  I do not know how I will ever be able to thank my sister and her husband for everything she has done for me.  I hope I will get well enough for me to go back to my house as I am now responding to my medication and fend for my children.